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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

book recommendations for friend who just left abusive relationship

4 replies

NigellaLawless · 21/01/2013 15:50

One of my best friends split with her DP of 18th months last week.

He turns out to have been incredibley controlling over that time. this culminated in him essentially holding her hostage for a weekend. he didn't hit her but broke lots of crockery ripped clothing (his) and shouted in her face a lot. She was terrified and basically did whatever necessary to appease him so that she could get out of there.

I am so proud of my friend for ending the relationship. she has been so strong but inevitabley after 18months of his conditioning and mind games she has moments of doubt; sometimes she thinks that she 'caused' his behaviour (the incident I described stemmed from her 'confessing' to kissing a colleague 16 months ago when she and DP were not yet serious about their relationship), and she believes all the insults he threw at her.

Anyway, my question is are there any books you would recommend for her to help her come to terms with what happened and help her gain confidence in her own judgements again?

OP posts:
FireOverBabylon · 21/01/2013 15:58

A member of my family has used this book and recommends it highly.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/01/2013 15:58

Rather than a book would she consider the 'Freedom Programme'? Aimed at women and children who have been the victims of male violence.

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 21/01/2013 16:08

second the recommendations for "It's my life now" and the Freedom Programme

NigellaLawless · 21/01/2013 16:25

Thanks everyone I will get on amazon tonight and find a copy to send her.

unfortunately we live at opposite ends of the country these days Sad

She has talked about looking into therapy too so I will mention the freedom programme to her.

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