How to do 'no contact' when you see them 5 days a week?

[FollicallyEnhancedFreak]

Having gotten myself into an absolutely ridiculous situation at the end of last year, I am now desperately trying to back peddle and mostly failing.

The details are mortifying and I don't really want to go into it but I need to stop contacting him or thinking about contacting him or thinking about throwing things at his large, smiling face. I've deleted everything, messages, photos, numbers etc yet he's still taking up a huge amount of head space, doesn't help that I see him 5 days a week and this isn't going to change anytime soon.

Do I just have to ride it out? Aren't you supposed to outgrow this sort of thing, I feel like a teenager

You mean you work together?

yep

Been there. Didn't fully get over it until I moved jobs, at which point it felt like we had broken up afresh ( not seeing him = no hope ) but I got over it in days, compared to weeks that dragged on before the move - out of sight, out of mind!

If that isn't possible, ignore and distract yourself, replace thoughts of him with thoughts of whatever makes you happy. And don't contact him, ever! It will get better.

Neither of us are going anywhere. I've been trying to kill it since the Saturday before Christmas, it's started up via text about 5 times since then. Then I get stuck in a cycle of feeling like crap, over thinking, deleting his number again, feeling better for 2 days before the whole cycle begins again.

Thanks for your advice BTW

Then you need distractions. Activities, fierce work-schedule, friends, a new boyfriend .... really conscious effort. If he's the nasty type that thinks 'no' means 'yes' then you can always report him in the company for sexual harrassment...

I agree get very, very busy. I had to stuck this out for best part of 2 years, a new man helped, plus joining gym / classes so not free in evenings etc.

I have to say the day he left (hopefully for good) was a blo*dy relief though and wasn't really able to start putting it behind me until that point.

If I could have left easily I would have done.

Keep your head down while at work and make sure he knows all contact must be professional only.

Thanks guys.

He's not a nasty type (just a smiling, annoying type) so no issues there.

Busy it is.

Is he being reasonable about leaving you alone? If not, even if he is superficially 'nice' about persistent attempts to put himself in your way, you can tell him firmly to steer clear or you will report him.

Nope he's not doing anything but smiling, as infuriating as the inane grinning is I can't report him for it!

Is he married? Are you?

no both divorced

I didn't manage to get over it whilst working in the same place, despite trying for eighteen months. I've handed in my notice. I'm sorry you're in this situation, it's terribly hard. I think cold turkey is the only way & I'm sure for some people they can get over it without changing job.

OK, what actually is the problem here? I'm not following. Neither of you is avoiding the other because you have other partners. You presumably had either a shag or a date that didn't work out. All you have to do is get over it. Did you inadvertently shit in his bed, or discover that he has a pork scratchings fetish or something?

It might help to consider that his 'inane grinning' is down to him being embarrased or feeling awkward but not wanting to be hostile. (Even if that's not the case, acting as if it is will help you be less bothered by it.)

Nothing like that, we got to the date stage, we had half kiss and then he went all weird and decided he'd rather play games than act like a grown up.

sorry for awful grammar in last post.

Sounds like he's still playing games, with all that grinning.