How to get through my first night alone

[Guiltcity]

My DP of 3 years packed up and left to stay with relatives this morning.

How the hell do I get through this first night on my own? I've probably had 15 or so cups of tea today, and smoked my first and second and third cigarette for years.

I should be forcing a 14 y/o to bed and cuddling up on the sofa with DP right now :(

Force the 14 y/o to bed as usual then curl up on the sofa with chocs and hot water bottle and MN! You are allowed to wallow, but be nice to yourself

14 y/o has gone too.
She is DPs younger sister who, due to family situation, stays with us 4 days a week. Normally the bane of my life but I'm missing her terribly.

its too late to get anything prepared now but, just don't be hard on yourself. Try to avoid anything that reminds you of him, and hunker down for a tough night. You will get upset id be lying to you if I said you won't, try to think of the future and all the positives that can come out of this shitty outcome. I'm going through the same thing but I made the decision to move out! Tomorrow id go to the shop and get all your favourite foods and a good film and just spoil yourself. Things will get easier, good luck x

Oh dear.

A good book, clean sheets, hot water-bottle and bed.

Has he gone for good? What's happened?

I feel for you. I've been through that first night and it's a really difficult time.

I'm really hoping its not for good, but no idea what's going to happen.

It's a situation that's been building for a while I think, he was made redundant a few months ago, meaning I've been supporting him. He hated this and started hiding debt from me so I wouldn't feel I had to pay things on his behalf

I found a letter from a debt collection agency last night and he completely exploded. Told me he'd been thinking about leaving for ages and wasn't sure how he felt about me anymore, can't bear the stress of living in our house anymore. He's so down in the dumps, but had never let me talk to him about it until last night when there was nothing I could do.
Talked all night and he left late this morning.

He's agreed to meet up on Wednesday after a few days breathing space but I'm not too hopeful.

I don't want to give you false hope but it seems to me like he is depressed and that this is a reaction to feeling out of control rather than to you yourself. Spoil yourself and try to distract yourself, watch a film or read the classic threads on here for a laugh. I would give him breathing space and meet up on Wednesday when you can get a clearer idea of what is going on in his head. Its the waiting that's going to be tough. PM if you are finding it tough through the night, I will be working until late so will be around if you want a chat.

I'm crap at advice but usually up a lot in the night with baby if you want to chat to take your mind off things. Xx.

Thank you everyone.

I'm feeling weirdly calm.

artsmumma I'm convinced that depression is something to do with it. He's had a really crap time of it lately, tends to go through really black periods and told me last night that he's started to feel anxious and panicky about going out to do things. He refuses to even consider this and told me to stop trying to think of medical conditions that would make him want to leave. I just wish he had confided all this to me before the last minute. He said some truly awful things.