Help with my irritable partner

[lightsandshapes]

I have been with dp for 5 years and we have a ds, who is 14 months and adorable. My problem is how irritable, hard to please, loud and generally unaffectionate my dp is. We sleep separately, he sleeps in the loft and most nights he goes to bed in a huff, I co sleep with ds as we're still breastfeeding. I am 36, he is 48. Frankly I am lonely, starved of affection and never happy for a long period of time, except that ds makes me over the moon. I would like another little one, but our relationship is pretty rocky. My biological clock is ticking. I have such a dilemma. What should I do? Also he doesn't do that much around the house.

Well. You have a choice.

Tell the shitty one to fuck off and find someone else to have a child with, someone who doesn't make you feel crap.

You still have time.

Leave it another couple of years, you start to run out of options.

Thanks AF, as it is his house, I would have to fuck o*+ as its his house :(
Also would feel really bad taking ds away from his dad. Though the constant bickering can't be good for ds either. I don't know if I quite earn enough to fend for myself and ds......

well, it's not quite so straightforward as it being "his house"

get some legal advice

knowledge is power, love

why would you "take ds away" if you split

do you think your partner would walk away from his responsibilities towards his own flesh and blood ?

I think it's pretty clear cut. He's paid for 100% of the house. I'm not on the deeds. We're not married. I've made myself vulnerable I think.

You can get rehoused then surely...could you not rent privately and then get help with housing etc....

You sound so sad

Definitely get legal advice, a free half hour consultation to start with. And start calculating budgets for when you move out, eg research rental prices in your area, find out what benefits, tax credits etc you'd be entitled to claim.

Don't feel trapped, purely because of money, where there's a will there's a way.

yes, you have made yourself very vulnerable

not a good reason to stay with someone who doesn't make you happy though...that's like throwing good money after bad

cut loose now, take what benefits you are entitled to, use family/friends to help and move on

go see CAB...you can do this

What happens when you confront your partner about his appalling behaviour? Does he know you're unhappy? Does he even care? Does he have any explanation for his 'irritability'? How do you think he would respond if you said you were taking DS and leaving? Would it spur him into action or would he shrug his shoulders?

You need RL support for a situation like this. Friends, family and professional advice. Good luck

Dunno if I really want to leave. I have become like a lazy cat! He does just shrug his shoulders if I say I'm going. He displays little softness. But then we do have good days. Brr to tired by my life to do anything drastic :(

Ah. pointless thread then.

< moves on >

im not sure why the advice you have recieved is to leave him, based on such limited information. what avenues have you explored with him to resolve this? is it possible he is suffering from depression? how long has he been like this?

Is this what you want your life to be like for the next five years? How about the next ten, twenty, thirty years?