WWYD about this complicated situtation?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I am pretty lonely atm and havn't had a relationship for a while. I have a good friend; she is in a similar situation as me except she has been alone longer. There is this guy; I think he is really cute but she is more into him than me. About two years ago she kissed him but it never went further as she was frightened of getting hurt.
For the past 6 months he has been coming up to me whenever I have gone out but I have always rejected him as I didn't want to hurt my friend. Recently we did sleep together but I don't want to take it further because of my friend. I was just very drunk and lonely and I feel guilty. He keeps contacting me and I do like him but not enough to ruin a friendship. She was never his girlfriend but just a major crush of hers. I am very confused and mixed up about this as I could do with some company and fun. She hasn't mentioned him for 6 months or so but what if she finds out and still likes him?

Part of me wants to pursue it but tbh I am dating and trying to find alternatives so that I don't get too involved with him.

Just tell your friend that you hope she doesn't mind but you'd like to hook up with Mr Wonderful. If she does mind... tough! This is real life, not Jackie magazine.

So I wouldn't be a complete cowbag if I kept seeing him then? She only snogged him once and he keeps calling me. TBH though I do feel that the guilt will stop me from enjoying the relationship completely. Why do I feel so guilty. I guess it's because we do all have our 'favourites' and if she got it on with my favourite crush I'd be put out. So I am a shit friend and a hypocrit. I am not having a good dating life atm. I am really into someone at work but he is taken I think so I can't be with who I really want. agggrrrr!

Cogito Sorry to hijack but Cathy and Claire wasn't it in Jackie? Happy memories!

OP - Speak to your friend, I bet you're worrying about nothing.

Like I say, this is real-life and it's for grown-ups. There is no such relationship status as 'favourite crush'. He's single, you're single, she had her chance with him and nothing happened, you had the opportunity to screw him and you took it. If you don't like him all that much, leave him be....

How old is everyone in this little drama?

Ok...I am being rather childish but believe me among us mums in our circle there have been some proper childish skirmishes over men. I do really like him.

Sounds like you're all fishing in the same pool, how about widening your social circle?

I would speak to the friend and mention that he's been contacting you and that you like him. If she hasn't mentioned him for 6 months, then really it's fair game, but considering that you value the friendship, then it is worthwhile being open about it. If she would rather you give up the chance of being with someone you like, then she wouldn't be much of a friend.

This all sounds so juvenile. But if you'd really cared a fig for your friend's feelings, you would have asked her how she felt about it before you screwed her pash. Isn't this closing the stable door after the horse has bolted? You don't 'really like him' either. You're dating other people and you say you really like a guy who's in a relationship with someone else.

Is this the guy you posted about recently? The one who didn't go down on you on your first date was a tad taken aback by your megadecibel enthusiastic appreciation when getting your rocks off which could be heard all over the Chatsworth your estate?

Has he bought some earplugs and a snorkel?

LOL; it is him indeed! He obviously isn't put off but mabe he did buy the earplugs! I will try and tone it down. Bless!

Ok; I am officially a slapper!

I suspect your neighbours are relieved too.

TSC

Izzy, TSC

Have you no actual thoughts, boundaries and rules of your own about men that you have to keep repeatedly asking the most obvious questions on MN ? Get some help, lady.

If you a actually cared about your friend you would have discussed this before you shagged him.

This is so ridiculous.

"Recently we did sleep together but I don't want to take it further because of my friend."

How much further IS there?!

You shagged him - if your friend likes him enough that you being with him would ruin the friendship then you shagging him will be enough to nail down the coffin on that friendship.

You were worried that getting with him would ruin your friendship - but somehow you thought that SHAGGING him wouldn't? OMG.....

Well, he clearly doesn't want to date or have sex with your friend, so you avoiding him will still not mean that she 'gets' him. It's not like nicking the last chocolate biscuit out of someone else's tin. If you want him and he wants you, go ahead.