How do real relationships start and feel?

[InNeedOfBrandy]

Have never had "real" relationships dd's dad at the time was only casual and ds's dad was with another woman (and more) the whole time. The only other one who I had feelings for and everything just fitted I ended up in a refuge due to his insecuritys coming out DV.

So I just wondered how does a real start of relationship feel? What do you do thats different then the norm and I don't mean dates and shagging and I don't mean everything just feels so right and it clicks cos thats not worked out to well either.

Abusive men are 'lovely' to outsiders and initially charming/addictive until as you know the 'aw that's cute he misses me already' turns into 'its too much hassle to see my friends, easier if I just stay in with him' etc until it descends into carnage.

The key is to not pick a dickhead in the first place. See the Red Flags thread. If a guy has reached say, 35 with no lasting relationship/speaks derogatorily about exes/treats waiters or 'subordinates' lithe crap, avoid. If everyone else has avoided him you should too.

The whole point of relationships is that they're meant to be FUN. You're meant to enhance each others lives, laugh, have fun, encourage and support each other, make each other feel good and secure otherwise there's no point. No games, mental torture, anguish, stress etc EVER. Yeah, you can have a bad mood but if you're arguing regularly what exactly is it that yous fundamentally disagree on?!
For the first 18 months you have a chemical in your brain that makes it the 'honeymoon' period, if its a bit shit THEN, raise your standards and cut your losses.

I'm not sure I completely understand but I can make you boak with the soppiness of my story....

Friends for 10 years. I was married and had DCs but it broke up amicably. I got back in touch with friend.

He opened the door and I felt a great wave of relief at seeing him again. The comfort of seeing him again was visceral. We then hung out a bit more as friends. I just couldn't get enough of him. We laugh loads. He's really supportive and helpful. So many good qualities. I then made the first move. It was so good taking it further. The start of this relationship has been exciting and passionate but with the backbone of familiarity and friendship. It's amazing.

"So I just wondered how does a real start of relationship feel?"

I think it's that thing about feeling that you can be yourself and that you are supported, admired, respected and generally 'loved' as an equal. The test for me is that this continues even if you happen to disagree about something. I don't think you can really know someone inside six months ... most people are still on best behaviour.... so you have to keep your ears and eyes open and not make allowances. Any hint of disrespect, contempt, scoffing, excessive piss-taking, being miserable, blaming others, jealousy... take things no further.

I had the one what didn't feel right and we were always arguing after a few months and I had the one that was familiar and who thought I was the most amazing woman (refuge one)

I agree with the 6 months at the very least to know someone. I do find that I have always made allowances and glossed over any warning feelings if I even noticed them at the time.

I met my now DP purely by accident, and we arranged to meet again. Right from the beginning it 'felt' right. Right person, right time. right circumstance. I felt I was meant to be there, supposed to be with him

2.5 years later and well past the honeymoon phase it still 'feels' right. despite some difficulties and irritations, he treats me with love and respect.

lemon do you mind me asking if you have ever had any doubts ever?