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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

would we be better off alone?

27 replies

city1984 · 19/01/2013 20:55

I have a 3 month old dd and 2 older dc. The first 2 were planned and the third an accident. Since dd was born dh has changed. He has become even less hands on than before. Today he popped to the supermarket to buy pretty much things he likes only. He than spent 5 hours playing computer games whilst I looked after dc and did laundry etc. He than threw a tantrum because dd lost the tv remote and started ranting about the place being a tip. I gently pointed out that I am struggling to get things done. His response was that I should be able to do it during the week when oldest at school. Pointed out that doing day to day stuff and looking after baby keeps me busy. Response was the usual "we would be better off without baby dd"
Later on I also heard hime shouing at baby to shut up when she was crying.
We would be better off without him wouldn't we?
He does work long hours duuring the week (maybe 13 hours with travel) but really that isn't enough. Especially as dd is still waking twice at night.
Thank you.

OP posts:
Velcropoodle · 20/01/2013 23:39

wannabedomesticgoddess , I don't think my advice is shit although I respect your different view.
My point is that there may well be mitigating factors which could be addressed before this family reaches the point of breaking up. If they can't then city knows she has other options. Her call.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 20/01/2013 23:46

Velcro, your advice was also dangerous. This man says awful things about his own child. Disrespects the OP and acts like a selfish prick. It will escalate.

It is ofcourse the OPs call, but to tell a woman it would be harder without her idiot husband is nonsense. It might be difficult in the short term. But no woman should be encouraged to stay in a relationship for fear of things being a bit difficult. If the relationship has gone bad it is always better to end it.

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