I've been a long time lurker on here, but I've had to come out of the shadows and vent about what an utter utter arsehole my ex is, and it's probably going to be long.
Background, I was a very young mother, my dd is an adult now. Her father (aforementioned wanker) was nearly ten years older than me and we split when she was just two. There were many reasons for the split, not least the fact that he was violent, and regularly raped me. Things were very different then, and the police considered such matters to be "domestics" and didn't really want to get involved, also, as I said, I was very young and wasnt able to stand up for myself as I do now.
I could fill an entire thread about what a bastard he was after we split, highlights include locking dd out in the snow age 4 for daring to ask for a sandwich, I finally managed to get contact limited, and once he realised he could no longer use her to control me he stopped seeing her altogether. Needless to say he never paid a penny towards her upbringing.
When dd was about 15 she went through the usual phase of hating me and building her absent father up into some kind of Demi god, she tracked him down and resumed contact without me knowing, he seized the opportunity to fill her head with how evil I am, and being a stroppy teenager she was more than happy to believe it. He allowed, even encouraged her to drink, smoke and bunk off school while I nagged about homework etc. I didn't stand a chance. Around this time the twunt developed a mysterious illness that the doctors could find no trace of, yet it prevented him working and resulted in him being given three months to live at least three times over the next ten years, usually coinciding with his latest girlfriend coming to her senses and leaving.
Dd grew out of the stroppy teens and we grew closer again, but still she would hear no wrong against her dad. By now he'd become an alcoholic and everyone except dd had turned their backs on him, so she felt responsible, she did all his washing and cleaning, gave him money and regularly took him meals. I gritted my teeth and ignored it until the day the world came crashing down.
Dd was involved in a very serious car accident, it took two hours to cut her out of the car, and she was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. While she was being cut out of the car she was conscious and screaming for me, but she wasn't able to give my details. The person she was with gave the police her fathers address, and the police went to break the news and ask for help finding me. He completely refused to help. Claimed he couldn't remember my name, where I lived, or where I worked and he didn't know anyone who might. He even refused to give his own families addresses in case they could help. Finally the police tracked down his other daughter who pointed out that my dds best friend lived next door to him and may be able to help. She could, and I was finally told eight hours after the accident!
I could fill another thread with the things he did during the nine weeks she battled for life, but suffice to say he never once visited her, and two days after the event told a friend she had a "smashing" time that night. He thought it was an hysterical joke.
Thank god dd recovered, although she has been left with a few mobility problems, the scales have finally fallen from her eyes and she has cut him out of her life, but, she's got some compensation, and that utter utter cunt ( I never use that word, but I'll make an exception in this case) is trying to get a cut of it. He's turned up claiming that he has again been given three months to live, and he needs a couple of thousand pounds to make his last few months bearable. Dd told him to fuck right off, so now he's telling anyone who will listen what a heartless bitch she is, and people are actually believing it and trying to talk her round!!!!!!
Dd is devastated, and I'm apoplectic. I'm so tempted to go round there and tell him in no uncertain terms what I think, but I honestly think I'd end up lashing out at him. My husband says I should just ignore him, dd is an adult and can fight her own battles, but since the accident I've become a bit over protective and I can't bear to think of her upset by this, she's been though enough. Not to mention the fact that I don't want her caving in and giving him a single penny.
Thank you if you've made it this far, as I'd really appreciate some advice on what to do from someone who isn't involved.