God I'm so annoyed with myself!! Met a guy back in July last year, fell madly deeply stupidly in love with him. He was the same at first, all loved up and I thought we had something really special. Then he cooled right down on me and it turned me into a bloody twat! I've just sat here and realized the way I've behaved these past few months has led him to believe I feel he's superior to me!! I'm always available for a start, whenever he wants to come over, I welcome him. If ever he said he was busy or whatever I showed obvious disapointment. I cancelled plans with friends to be with him. When he told me he wasn't happy with x,y and z I went out of my way to rectify that. I'm constantly asking him if he's happy with the relationship, he knows I panic about him ending it, I've told him on a few occasions that I'm scared of him ending it. I forgave him without question when he was an absolute bastard to me, I jumped at the suggestion of us living together and now, he's living with me and paying me nothing towards groceries or anything despite being on an income double mine. I pay for the cinema trips that we do almost weekly and when he suggested a trip out at the weekend the moron in me suggested I give him something towards the petrol.
What the fuck am I doing??? do I have mug tattooed across my face?? He must be laughing his head off at me, stupid little woman, will do anything to keep me sweet ....
Jesus Wept. Feel free to ignore, I'm just ranting at myself.