Is 8 months without sex normal in a relationship?

[Boomerwang]

It's on my mind a lot lately. My boyfriend is just not interested in me. I read something on another thread about sex ending is the start of a relationship ending and I'm a bit panicky now. I hope it's not true, as we have a 10 month old daughter.

Incidentally, I don't think it's tiredness or stress that's doing it, and certainly not on my part. He just isn't interested. It's at a point where I'm afraid to bring up the subject because I don't want a pity fuck and I am afraid of rejection also.

It must be because I'm fat. I'm approx 5 stone overweight. I'd make an attempt to lose it but then I'd be admitting that I have to be thinner for him to be attracted to me sexually, and is it fair for it to be that way or is he being unreasonable?

You think I'm a troll because I had sex after my baby was born? I'll be clearer then. I had a vaginal birth with minimal tearing. Approximately two weeks after she was born my stitches were gone (some dissolved, some were taken out) and I had been 'running clear' so to speak for at least a week already. Sex started around 2 and a half weeks and ended when my baby was approximately 2 months old.

Re: hairy toes... you had me going there because I DO have hairy toes (tweeze the hairs out) and I thought you'd discovered some kind of link between hairy toes and pregnancy sex.

I did have a few words with my boyfriend and as he always does he becomes more attentive for a few days, and a lot more willing to do things for me or look after our daughter more. It doesn't solve the problem but it shows that he feels some responsibility and guilt. I don't try to guilt trip him, rather extract some information but he finds it difficult to put his feelings into words.

Right, I'll end this here because it seems this is a boring thread, but I would like to thank those who offered advice and also those who thought I was a troll, because I'm quite bemused about it! I would have chosen a more interesting subject if I were trolling!

nothing wrong with having sex as soon after the birth as you feel ready. I felt positively salacious, within a week of birth each time. Pretty much as soon as my milk came in and all that lovely oxytocin started .
Id say that most people arent interested for a lot longer than that, but its not particularly uncommon for people to feel sexual again quite quickly either.

At boomerwang sorry for being insensitive, judgemental & wrong. I hope that you manage to find a solution to your problem & happiness for you & your family.

You can't help what you're attracted to. It's mostly instinctive and subconscious. I would find a partner less attractive if he put on five stone because it's a very significant amount of weight and would make him look very different to what he looked like when I met him and found him attractive initially. Love ameliorates that to some extent because it's based on much more than physical appearance, but it can't change fundamentally what someone finds sexually attractive.

However, I would not dream of commenting a partner's weight gain other than to be supportive, and I certainly wouldn't leave because of it unless there were other problems. Losing attraction to someone because they've gained weight is only shallow if you use it as an excuse to behave badly yourself or to make the other person feel bad, but everyone is allowed to feel what they want and to find certain things attractive or unattractive.

I agree with you Dahlen (although I don't know what 'ameliorates' means).

I'm going to make an effort to drop some weight and tone up a bit more, and get out and about and become more independent.

I'll bet you any money, actually, that as soon as it seems I don't need him any more, he'll suddenly become more attentive!

I'm jumping on this thread as it resonates with me and I was just about to post the same.

I'm worried about the lack of sex on our marriage. We have sex maybe every other month or two months. When we do there's no foreplay, no kissing, no real intimacy....just here we go and it's done.

I've put in about 1.5-2 stone recently. Ww're having trust issues and I still have crap days when I remember my husband cheated on me. We are working past it, it's been over a year now.

Our marriage feels platonic. We hug, kiss on the cheek and that's it.

I have tried talking to Him about it but I just fobbed off.

I'm worried