Posted here a few days ago to say I'd finally reached the end of my tether with OH and told him I was going to leave if he doesn't start pulling his socks up and stop being so selfish (he goes out every night whether it be sport, meeting his mates for couple of drinks plus he plays golf every Sunday from 8am till about 2.30pm then sometimes goes to pub after etc etc) and he seems to have taken it on board however he is telling me I also need to show that if he does make the effort he is not wasting his time & I will show him more affection (I must admit I haven't done much of that lately and it's always been quite an effort for me even though I do love him). But how can I do this when I feel it's him that got us into this situation? I can understand how he might feel unloved but I can't suddenly change and be all loving when I'm still angry with him. I feel I need to see some major changes first but he says he needs to see some affection from me. He's away tonight which I've been looking forward to, just to have some time to myself but he's now saying do I want him to come back tonight and I really don't want him to but don't want to kick him when he's down! Any advice pls?