What happens when splitting with the following things?

[BrittaPerry]

It is all in my name, I (and the kids) are moving out, I think he is moving out too (rented house). I will be living with my parents for a few weeks. He might live with his or go to a shared house.

Virgin media account (and tivo box - I had to pay £50 for the box, but I realise that isn't the full value)

Kids beds and toys. I did all the shopping, comparing and choosing, but we have joint money

General furniture

Utility bills

His mobile contract is in my name (I got one for myself at the same time so it was easier)

Debts we both ran up (but in my name)

Wedding gift kitchen stuff

What else do I need to sort out?

Sorry this is happening but I think you would need to agree which items you both want

Kids beds and toys, surely you will keep those, to disrupt the children as little as possible.

Utility bills, your solicitor or CAB will advise you on this, there must be a set calculation for it, also the mobile contract and Virgin Media will probably be included.

Wedding gifts are usually split based on which of the couple the giver was friends or relatives of.

General furniture, you usually keep what you owned at the start of the relationship and negotiate over the items bought jointly.

Sorry you are having to go through this, it's not easy. All the best of good luck.

We don't have a solicitor, theres no infidelity etc so we need to wait two years before divorce. Unless what happened with his last marriage happens - they were separated, but as soon as one of them started dating, the other divorced them (willingly) for adultery.

The kids have a ridiculous amount of toys, I'm thinking of taking the things that I put particular effort into getting (a wooden kitchen that I shopped round for, trofast storage, loads of lego that I hunted round charity shops for) but making sure he has a good selection too. Favourite teddies etc can be moved about at will by the kids. They have loads of toys at each set of grandparents as well, the toys seem to migrate. I suppose it depends on access as to how the home education stuff is divided - if it goes how most seem to, with them at his every other weekend and a weeknight or so, the HE stuff will mostly be my responsibility. If he has them more, then he will need some. Possibly he could take on certain subjects/activities? I dunno.

What is the best way of sorting out books? We have hundreds. Each just take what we want and hope it doesn't overlap?

I suppose I need to open a bank account. At the moment it is all joint (apart from the debt, which is just in my name). Or can I just unjoin the joint accounts?

Who will tell his mum???

You can still split up on unreasonable behaviour - even if there wasn't really any to speak of. The courts are not in the business of keeping people together against their will. Although in England I think you have to be married for a year before you can start divorce!

It looks so expensive. It was a lot easier to get married.

We have been married two and a half years, together six and a half years, dds nearly six and three. This is his second marriage and my first. We own nothing of any real value.

Is there a procedure to follow to be officially separated? Or to arrange stuff for the kids?

There's no official separation procedure. You can open your own bank account at any time and could have done so at any time during the marriage. Personal debts are personal debts and technically should go with their owner (you). Any joint debts you need to reach an agreement on who will pay what. If your personal debts paid for joint purchases, talk....

If you are both moving to new locations, you should be responsible for the utility, rent and other bills there and your ex responsible for those at his address. If there are any final bills, share those proportionally or come to some other arrangement. Books/furniture/other small items you should discuss between you.

Divorce is relatively simple and also very cheap if you've agreed everything between you like finances, access, maintenance, division of possessions etc in advance. The more you But I would suggest you book an appointment with a solicitor or CAB so that you have as full a picture as possible of what is fair and usual, especially when it comes to maintenance for the children. Otherwise, you can give things away without realising it.

I was advised by my solicitor to take what I needed and argue about it later, on the basis that the children would be living with me and needed their things around them, and I needed furniture and etc for them like table, tv etc.

I would advise you to get your own bank account and go into a bank with him and transfer the joint accounts into one name only, as he can take all the money out, and run up overdrafts. Also call the phone company and explain, get the contract transferred into his name or cancel it. Get everything financial separated.

Talk to CAB, talk to a solicitor. Even if everything is nice right now, divorce doesn't seem to bring out the best in people. I have heard too many stories where people get screwed over, particularly financially, and you need to make sure you are ok so you can feed your children. Remember if he has left, there is no incentive to play nice any more.

ps why on earth should anyone but him tell his mother?