'Rules' when it comes to children and new DP

[TheRatsTheRats]

So to be clear I know there are no set 'rules' as such but ykwim also I am not yet in a relationship, it is just something I am considering. I want to have a clear idea about what I should (and more to the point, should not) be doing if and when the time comes.

I really want to make sure I do it right by my DC.

SO what are the 'rules'?

How long do you wait for intros? A year? More? Less? Two years? How and where do intros happen?

How do you you deal with childrens' relationships with new partner? For example, what are the 'rules' once living with a new DP? Their involvement? (My DC are very young still)

I'm not sure exactly what it is that I want to know but experiences and thoughts welcome!

Thanks

When my sister and her dp decided to introduce their now grown up children to eachother, they pretended they didn't know eachother, arrived seperately at e.g. soft play, and let the kids play together as if they'd made friends, then the adults chatted over coffee as though they'd just met. Then they all arranged to meet up again for the children to play with their 'new friends'.

In hindsight, going by my recent relationship break up. I'd want my relationship to be fully established, now just 'talked about' the future, but actually be sure before I let someone move in on my home and get too close to my child.

Always be guided by your children, dont try to force them to have a relationship with someone, my ex did this with our daughter who was 3 at the time and encouraged her to hug his gf and she (DD) felt really uncomfortable about going to see her Dad for a while.
DD met my now DH when she was 2 and she met him as if he were just a friend, I had plenty of male and female friends over and out with us so it wasnt out of the ordinary. We never pushed a relationship on her and it did take a long time for her to have a close relationship with him. I think approx a year into our relationship I was pregnant and DD drew a picture at nursery of her family, her, me with a blob on my tummy, her dad and my partner :)

i've thought about this alot. i'm single with 2 dcs aged 7 and 3. tbh if i met someone i thought i was serious about i dont think i would go anywhere near moving in until we had been together years and new for absoloute sure that dcs were happy with that person in their lives and that him and I were actually happy together long term, wanted same things, had same ideas about life, dcs etc.

having said that. their dad met new fiancee a couple months after moving out from our house, introduced them to her after a few weeks and is living with her after 14 months. but the dcs dont live there full time so i guess it's a bit of a different situation than someone new moving into their house IYSWIM.

Potential new P has no children (we are both pretty young still) and ex has no contact with DC so those are not issues in my case but the info is good for others who may have the same Q.

Thanks so much for these, keep them coming. :)