Feeling so alone

[Absolutelylost]

My DH has recently decided he doesn't love me anymore and we're still sorting the details of where and when he will go. I am devastated. The DC's don't know yet and we are carrying on pretty much as normal in front of them. We share a bed still but he won't touch me at all and we used to be such a physical couple, always entwined on the sofa. He is asleep next to me on the couch, and I am ashamed to admit I sit up close to him - its the only time I can touch him without him recoiling and I miss him so much. I know it sounds pathetic but it's very early days and I just don't know how to manage. Am trying to sort out practical things but am emotionally devastated.

Sorry to hear. I've been there, and it is miserable.

Best of luck.

I've been there too, awful, but you will get through it.
Someone once said to me that I would feel as if I was hitting rock bottom but there was only one way from there -up. It proved to be true.

I am really sorry, love.

Please try to hang onto your dignity...when you look back you will feel better that you did that

Is there another woman ?

Thank you, at the moment I just can't imagine feeling better. I have never felt such pain.

I don't think there is another woman but I suppose time will tell.

I think you should brace yourself for that

Would it help if you assume there is ? Most men do not leave without a nice soft landing elsewhere.

You aren't alone though, we will be here for you.

To be honest, just losing him is enough. I know men rarely leave with nowhere to go, we will see.

Thanks wildthong, I appreciate that and I have lots of support - but my best friend and lover has gone and I just don't want to accept it, though I know I have to.

I really feel for you. It's miserable.

Very early days, but know that things will get better and you will feel happy again in the future.

I am so sorry OP.

I know how heard it is to accept. I completely understand your want for intimacy with the one person who has hurt you so much. Keep posting and try and stay strong

I think the priority has to be him leaving. All the time he is hanging around like a bad smell, sharing your bed (!?!) and you're trying to pretend that everything is normal when it patently isn't, you are not going to be able to cope. No-one can deal with that level of deceit. How can you accept that it's over when everything on the surface seems normal? You could end up very ill.

Make him go and you can start to heal.

Awful for you. The one person you want to comfort you is the person causing the pain.

Try (very easy to say but hard to do) to start detaching now. No more sitting on the couch with him. Can he sleep in another room? or on a mattress on the floor if no spare room?

Start giving yourself space and take some power back woman. If this is what he decided unilaterally, then he needs to start feeling the consequences (even though it probably feels at odds with what you want to do).

Whatever little services you have been doing for him (as part of a loving relationship) stop it now. And if he comments, dont engage. This is what he decided.

I am very sorry this is happening to you.

Why the secrecy though? If he has made his mind up, there is no point not telling friends and family. It sounds like everyone would fare better with support.

Also, the DCs will need an age appropriate convo to help them understand that it is it their fault, nor yours for that matter. Maybe some other posters will grave good advice on making it easier for the children. I would think that even young ones would pick up on the stress at home.

Will give not grave...