A very reliable friend has let me down...

[Battlefront]

She's been a good friend since our DC were small (DS1 now 11)

We'd agreed to do a joint challenge in 2013, which involves some hard training and regular tough (for us) physical challenges. The training is going reasonably well and the first challenge is in a few weeks time - all booked and paid for.

She has now realised the date clashes with an important event for a cause close to her heart and has decided that she feels strongly she should be there. It's an event I would also go to in normal circumstances, but it doesn't have the same strong pull for me as it does for her. I'd go and feel good about it if I had nothing else on IYSWIM. I wouldn't cancel something that was important to me.

Anyway, she is a good person, who has worried over this, made her decision and apologised to me most profusely. I completely understand her decision.

I'm not sure what to do about the challenge. To keep on track, she intends to do her own thing, broadly similar to the organised event, the day before. I know she'd like me to go to the charity thing and I do usually support the work she does there. However, slipping from the schedule and making up your own rules seems like "cheating" to me and I'd rather stick to the original plan and do the challenge on my own. (Only cheating ourselves, no official rules, this is a challenge set by us, for us). It will be very hard for her to go out and do it on her own though - hard enough when you have lots of support around you. I can't do both - will need at least a week to recover afterwards before I can even think about doing another.

WWYD?

I'd stick to your original plan and do the challenge on the day you've booked it, without your friend.

It sounds like this is a one-off; it's understandable that you're disappointed, but it doesn't sound to me like she's "letting you down" in the sense that she's backed out on something she promised to support you with - she's clearly thought hard about her decision before pulling out, and has indicated that she wants to try and keep on track by doing an alternative day. So let her do that without fuss (or encourage it, even) and she'll likely fall straight back in line with the original schedule, once her important event is out of the way.

She's not let you down, she has prioritised a cause dear to her heart.

Why do you not stick to your plans and do what you have booked and paid for together, alone, or could you find someone else to take her place?

You sound as if you are sweating the small stuff. If she is a normally reliable and good friend, then cut her some slack.

The challenge is still something potentially you can stick with. either together or just for YOU.

That post perhaps sounded more harsh than I intended. I just meant that if she has never let you down, then it's OK for her to decide to put something she really cares about first.

Agree with Fringe - you have paid for the challenge day, so I would go ahead and do it.

It's up to her to arrange her own support for the charity thing and I'd be pleasant and up front and just say that you would rather stick to your training schedule.

She's a good friend so I'd give her at least one free pass. Ultimately whatever the event is you will each need to get round it on your own, so it's not the end of the world if you don't do all your training together.

I'd stick to your original plans and do the challenge on the original date. I'd offer to repeat the challenge a week or two later with your friend if she wants a buddy, or be sideline support on the day she does it. If possible is try to get to a bit of her other event too if it wasn't a total time clash with the challenge.

What's the challenge?

Could you rearrange the challenge for the week after?? I know it's booked and paid for but is it worth checking?? Is the challenge something you would enjoy on your own??

(very nosey - wishing i knew what the challenge is!!) ;-)

I'd do my thing and let her do hers.