What to say?...

[GoldenMama]

Quick background - We have been togather for 10 years got 2 DC, I have posted before how I am going to end it, tried in the Summer and was thwarted. And after far too much thinking and talking and no action, I know what I need to do, but am scared stiff of having the conversation and all the rest that comes with it. (Not of being by myself, I look forward to some time for me)

So this is what I have come up with after hours of thinking about the best words to use and how much I should go into the why's and how's, but is there really anything else to say other than this...?

We need to talk.
I?m not happy, and I don?t think you are either.
We need to be friends for the kids.
But I want you to move out.

What do you think?

There's no magic formula of words, you just have to be prepared to stick to your guns really.

He cannot keep you in a relationship you don't want to be in, he doesn't have that power.

I'd shorten it actually ....

I'm not happy (his happiness is not so important). I want you to move out today/tomorrow/next Monday (be specific or it won't happen). We need to stay civil (friends are people you actually like) for the children.

As one of my old bosses would say. After that point 'don't complain, don't explain'.

I think thats fine, tbh I don't think it really matters exactly what words you say, it's still going to have to same effect and make him convey the same feelings. It sounds like neither of you have been happy for some time so he might even be relieved that you both dont have to pretend anymore. Good luck.

Thank you for your replies.
I know I need to say something soon, I am working myself up about ti to be honest. I used to be very decisive, but have lost that somewhere. I want to say I will do this tonight, but need to get motivated to do so. He is apparently cooking me a nice meal this evening... Arrrgh!!

'We need to talk' said in a very serious tone is always a great opener. You might find you don't need a script after that.

"This isn't working for me anymore"

He is very good at talking and has a lot to say!! I therefore like to get everything out in as few words as possible then let him rant about how unfair his life is and how unappreciated he is and on and on and on... (and that can be on a good day)

So perhaps, "this isn't working for me anymore and it's over" pause while he rants, talks or whatever, followed by a shrug from you and repetition of the phrase.

"This isn't working for me"

Good luck

Thanks x