First things first; dealing with manipulative twunts can be extremely draining and I'm not at all surprised you're bone tired but schedule an appointment with your GP to rule out any physical cause and, if you're not sleeping well, ask for appropriate meds.
The way to deal with all you've got on your plate is to divide it up into bite size chunks and plough your way through slowly but surely. The following may serve to help you perceive what may appear to be overwhelming as manageable:
- Years of abuse, plus the physical abuse you mentioned, will have taken its toll on your dc too. If you haven't done so already, ask your GP or his school to refer your eldest ds to a paediactric psychology unit for counselling/play therapy and please give consideration to asking for a similar referral for your youngest ds.
- With regard to the pending Hearing re contact, stick with your decision not to agree to any increase in the existing hours and instruct your solicitor to remind the Court that he is yet to comply with the direction for him to attend a course for abusive fathers, notwithstanding the fact that attendance at any such course will not change his behaviour one iota, but he'll pick up some jargon which he'll use to further manipulate and abuse others.
- The twunt clearly isn't opposed to divorce but, in common with others of his ilk, he doesn't want you divorcing him. Therefore, instruct your solicitor to file a further petition for divorce citing his unreasonable behaviour as per the facts of the matter in your earlier document. If he refuses to acknowledge receipt, engage the services of a process server or baliff and/or ask the Court to deem the papers served.
- Moving into rented accomodation may serve to enable him to continue to pull the financial strings in that if he delays child support/maintenance payments you may not be able to make ends meet plus, one way or another, he'll use the sale or rental of the former marital home as yet another way of exercising control over you.
In addition, moving house is way up on the stress chart and, as you're running on empty energy-wise, you're best advised to stay put in your home and seek to take on the mortgage as asap. In the meantime, and again if you haven't done so already, perhaps you/your solicitor can inform the mortgage company of your situation in the hope they won't plague you with threatening letters.
- ON NO ACCOUNT should you consider walking away from your rightful share of joint assets. You've earned every penny and then some and you will need every penny to ensure the material security of your dc. Get yourself the best possible deal - and if that means fighting tooth and nail over every last farthing and/or engaging in protracted negotiations, GO FOR IT and show the loathsome piece of gobshite that he can no longer intimidate you and call the shots.
The above looks pretty straightforward, doesn't it? 
But, as he's engaged in a war of attrition, it's going to be a long haul and you need strategies for coping which will allow you to reduce your stress levels and increase your stamina.
Compartmentalising will save your sanity and give your overworked brain a rest. At the present time your job is vital to you. As you can't afford to make errors at work, rule number 1 is to leave all thoughts of these matters at the doorway to your place of employment. If unwelcome thoughts pop into your head, replace them with work related or more pleasureable ones. In time it will become second nature for you to decide what you want to think about, when you want to think about it.
Set aside, say, one hour a on a set day each week to peruse his emails and give consideration to the content. Some weeks you may need less time and others somewhat more, but get into the habit of only reading this material at the appointed time you've allocated for this purpose and, immediately thereafter, switch your attention to something completely different.
Similarly, unless any communication from your solicitor requires an urgent/immediate response, set it aside for consideration on the allotted day.
Be ruthless with your thoughts - don't them allow to control you to the extent you become in thrall to them, driven to distraction with your mind going at 90 mph, round and round in circles as you imagine depresing/dire scenarios with no end in sight. If you find unwelcome thoughts becoming incessant at a time when you need to concentrate on a matter in hand, tell them you'll give them free range later - at say 9pm after the dc are in bed and be sure to keep the appointment.
It's all too easy to neglect yourself when you're up against it; eat well and make sure you get regular periods of rest and play each day. If your diet leaves something to be desired, take a good quality multivitamin tablet daily and give consideration to boosting this with additional vitamin B complex and Vitamin D tablets.
Reward yourself by taking time to revel in simple pleasures - reading, music, painting, meditation, yoga, online shopping, whatever floats your boat. Don't neglect your social life. Keep in regular touch with friends/family and organise meetups as and when convenient for all concerned.
Your mantra is 'this too will pass'. And it will, honey. Every passing day is bringing you closer to a time when it will be over and you'll have an Absolute to hang in your loo [grin ]
Whenever it gets too much or you want to talk it through, update this thread and it will serve as a valuable chronicle of your journey through the obstacle course the twunt is determined to set for you.
Btw, emptying his rubbish on your property when he collects the dc is highly significant. He's symbolically trashing you every time he comes by your home. Hide or move your bin and, on the next occasion he's due, discreetly watch to see his reaction when he can't dump his trash on your property.