The house descended into absolute bedlam and I ended up in hysterics. DP not talking to me.

[INeedAWhisky]

At the weekend we had DP's two sons for the night. One is 15 and has autism, the other is 16 and has suspected mild aspergers.
I also have two sons. My eldest is 14 and also has mild aspergers and my youngest is 12 and has adhd. So as you can imagine, we have some fun in this house when it all kicks off.

So Saturday night arrived. DP's eldest son goes into a strop about something and he and his dad end up arguining. This stresses out his youngest DS who starts chanting "shut up" and opens a bag of m&ms and starts throwing them one by one at his brother and father. My eldest DS decides to try and break up the whole thing by setting off an attack alarm. The noise from this sends his youngest into meltdown, covering his ears and shouting "arrrr" at a constant pace - my youngest starts to go absolutely crazy because of all the noise and excitement and starts throwing stuff around the living room (mainly directed at DP's youngest who is still shouting) and then the dog goes psyco and starts darting around the room, across the sofas etc barking and growling. I was absolutely gobsmacked and didn't know what to do, it was absolute bedlam and then DP's eldest suddenly said "well it's like a fucking asylum in here, I'm off" and he storms out. My eldest DS then adds "good observation, I agree although I believe the correct term is mental health hospital". DP then puts his hands over his ears and mumbles "jesus wept, what the fuck is going on?"

At this point I was just helpless. I collapsed into a heap of laughter, tears strolling down my face, I couldn't catch my breath I was laughing so much. I don't even know why I was laughing.

DP and I have not spoken properly since. He's so protective over his kids however that any discussion regarding them ends in an argument. WTF do we do now?

OP the guinea pig thing really made me laugh. I do the inappropriate laughter thing too - it's awful, but I can't stop it. My dh gets so cross with me sometimes - especially if he's hurt himself and I laugh. It's taken me years to explain to him that I'm not laughing because he's hurt himself - just that I can't not laugh because it's s inappropriate.

I really think you just have to be really apologetic and explain to him that you weren't laughing at the children at all - just the guinea pig, the dog and whole situation.

Best friend has 12 year old son with severe autisim. First time I met him he climbed on my leg and humped it like a massive Great Dane....friend didn't even look up from her phone - just said 'He must love you, he only does that to people he loves!!'

On New Years eve we were having a dance together and he is now taller than me!!! I said 'Tommy when it gets to midnight I hope you are going to give me a kiss.' Without hesitation he said 'Shabba you can kiss my arse!!' LOL

I think you coped in the best way you could ever do - as my Nan always used to say - If you dont laugh you cry.' xx

My eldest DS then adds "good observation, I agree although I believe the correct term is mental health hospital"

I have a 16 year old DS with Aspergers. This is EXACTLY what he would have said!

I think you coped admirably:)

You both have a lot to deal with and he sounds overwhelmed. Can you sit down and explain to him it was funny? As there really was no other way to react, other than anger or how he did. Do you both have any support from friends in the same situation or friends from a local group which have dc with same needs? Would he post on mn?

He might be thinking of the future too- I know a family with an autistic young man and it is really hard. They are awesome in their outlook, but privately the dh has told us he felt more unable to cope with thinking of his ds future as an adult. So often this type of situation would depress him whereas his wife would be very practical and cope like you.