Should I be worried?

[MrsHelsBels74]

DH turned to me last night & said he loves me more now than he did when we got married. That should have been lovely but I just felt bad that I couldn't say the same. I do love him but it's all become a bit mundane.

I have a nearly 3 year old & a 3 month old plus mild PND, so I'm convincing myself that it's perfectly normal for emotions to sometimes 'switch off' IYSWIM & once we're more settled with the new baby things will get back to some semblance of normality.

Also I wonder if he feels this way because I've 'given' him 2 children & whether other men have felt like this whereas it's less common for women?

I think you should take him on face value. That was a lovely sentiment, sounds genuine, and I don't think you should be looking for double-meanings. If you are below par and struggling with your emotions generally then explain how you feel & ask this man for his support rather than 'switch off' to him. He clearly sees that you are not yourself and wants to be reassuring but it's not always easy to know what to do for the best. Give him something specific that he can do to make your life a little better ... practical or emotional... and I'm sure you'll get past this together. Good luck

I guess it depends on how long you've felt like it. If you're unhappy in general and tired, that's going to make things difficult, as will feeling detached and disconnected in general. Being at home with two small children is mundane and unfulfilling for some people.

Is he doing his fair share of the shit work? Where women do everything, it wouldn't be a surprise if some men felt they had hit the jackpot.

Have you had support for your mild PND? Sorry to hear that.

I should say it jolly well is normal for emotions to switch off with a baby, a young child and PND! If the worst you can say is that it's "a bit mundane" rather than "actually I wanted to scratch his eyes out" you're doing better than most.

It's fabulous that he can say he loves you rather than huffing at the lack of attention to him while you're busy with a baby, or competitive tiredness because he has to get up to work while you don't (even if you've been up and down all night and won't even get a nap during the day). What you need now is to be loved but not expected to give love back for a while. He needs to nurture you while you nurture your children. Hopefully as you say it will get back to normal soon.

(This is assuming there's nothing dodgy otherwise in your relationship. For example XH would have said he loved me because of his own insecurity, not to make me feel secure.)

Are you taking anti-depressants? While I was on them, I found it hard to say 'I love you', because I simply didn't feel it.

Thanks everyone, yes I am getting help for the PND. We've been here before & got through it so hopefully we can again.