Help! I am losing the will!

[Titchyboomboom]

My fiance has just decided to stop smoking - it has been 2 days and although he is using an e-cigarette, life here is awful. I know I should be more supportive but 2 days in and I am in tears at the change in his personality. These all sound minor, but added up, I am losing my mind!

Last night I stubbed my toe on the bed, and he huffed and widened his eyes.... I asked what he was huffing for... he said 'What do you think I'm huffing for?'... I said I genuinely didn't know as his face looked like he was annoyed with me. He then said he was fed up with being asked questions all the time and went downstairs

The night before, I needed a stick for a plant in the house and I asked where they were.. he said there were loads in the garden. I asked if he knew where they were and he said no, so I said I would go as if he didn't know where they were, I may as well look. He then said he would, but I said no, it's ok. He then walks past me out of the door and I ask where he is going.. he holds something up and says he is taking it back to the shed. I then find a stick and go back into the house.... he comes in literally 10 seconds later (no exaggeration, it was at the most 10 seconds) and is fuming. I ask why and he says it is because I left him outside with a torch looking for a stick... and it would have been courteous of me to let him know I had found one... I asked why I would have let him know when I didn't know he was looking for one, and he said 'I would have if it was the other way round..'

So confused! I had no idea he was looking for one, and he is still furious 2 days later. He said it is bullshit that I didn't know he was looking. Even if I did know, the fact is I only left him for 10 seconds... :(

A neighbour has had her dad staying over but he has recently gone home... he saw him with her, and said 'Jo still has her dad there then?' I say 'Has she?' to which he replies 'Jo still has her dad there then?' and I say 'Has she?' He then huffs and says with widened eyes and outstretched palms... 'Jo still has her dad there then?' and I say 'I thought he had gone home' and he huffs off and says 'Why didn't you just say that?!!' I feel so stupid!

I can't make head nor tail of him

Sounds OTT but I am in tears writing this... I can't believe these issues are all being dragged out ... he won't let any of them drop...

I had to go to the breast clinic yesterday (all ok thank god) so have been tearful anyway, and last night he said that he has been walking on egg shells for the last 6 months as I am grumpy, hurtful, mean, make him feel small and short tempered. He asked if I was crying because nobody had the guts to tell me before...

I know none of you know me, but it really breaks my heart to hear that. If you cold write a list of all the things I don't want to me, there it is... and I don't think I am, I really don't

I am a busy mum of a toddler and childminder, on my own most of the time, only seeing him in the evenings after busy and often lonely days, and I thought I was nice. I cook, clean, look after our child..

Sorry, I posted this mostly to just be able to rant. I feel slightly better and am going to get my beautiful daughter out of bed

xx

Even if you've been irritable, two wrongs don't make a right. You sound as though you have a lot on your plate without the added stress of a nicotine addict using withdrawal as an excuse to be bad-tempered whilst still letting you run around after him cooking and cleaning. I would quite honestly tell him that, if he wants to give up cigarettes, he should either do so with good grace and cheer up or go somewhere else until he's feeling less antisocial. Making other people's lives miserable is selfish and unacceptable.

Ha ha thank you :) I said something along those lines last night at about 1am... he slept downstairs :/

A friend of mine has a business selling e-cigarettes, and being the kind of people she and her DH are they researched the subject really deeply before going in to it. plus they both gave up smoking "real" cigs themselves & now only smoke their own product they sell.

She told me there are a number of reasons why they don't always work in giving up smoking, and there are a couple that may be coming into play in your fiance's case.

Firstly smoking isn't just about the nicotine addiction, it's about the habit & rituals that go round the act. That's why some people who can't give up with patches etc do manage with e-cigs, but it's still never quite the same.

Secondly, many smokers really underestimate how much nicotine they really take in and go for a lower strength cartridge than they need.

The third, and imo probably the most important failure reason, is that they just plain don't want to give up deep down inside. The irritation isn't due to nicotine withdrawal, how can it be as they are getting their nicotine, it's because they are HAVING to do something they don't really want to do. i get the feeling that this could be the reason your fiance is getting so irritable?

Having lived with an on-off smoker for far longer than I care to remember my feeling on the whole quitting business is 'who the fuck cares?'. If they want to stop smoking they should just do what it takes and bloody well get on with it rather than being selfish, making everyone miserable and expecting rounds of applause or other special treatment. They started the bad habit... they can get out of it.