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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

men and depression

9 replies

Iwasafairybutlostmywings · 07/01/2013 15:28

I just wanted to know how does it affect men
and what to do when they are in denial about it and just 'carrying on'.
thanks!!! that's all I wanted to ask with it being an online thing.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/01/2013 15:42

Depression affects different people in different ways. Like anything else, there's a limit to what you can do to force/persuade anyone, male or female, to acknowledge they have a problem let alone seek help. If you're suffering because you live with someone who you suspect has undiagnosed, untreated depression, you don't have to tolerate it.

Mouseface · 07/01/2013 15:54

If someone doesn't want to admit something about themselves, then that's up to them I'm afraid, it could be fear, shame, embarrassment...... anything.

They have their reasons. As hard as it is for those who love them to accept, you can only help those who are willing to be helped.

As Cognito said, depression affects everyone who it touches in different ways. I'm assuming you believe a make you know to be depressed here?

VoiceofUnreason · 07/01/2013 16:00

Some people don't even know they are depressed. I wasn't, first time I had it. And after I'd been diagnosed, people were amazed as I had always been an incredibly cheerful person. Now I know what it looks like when it comes back. Someone may be in denial because they genuinely don't think anything is wrong.

Original poster
Iwasafairybutlostmywings · 07/01/2013 16:06

Hi thanks for quick replies.
yes someone I love lots and been with a long time
just a change in behaviour which why I was wondering.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 07/01/2013 16:13

His behaviour has changed?

So you think that he is depressed because of that alone? Is he sad IYSWIM or up and down? What's changed? Is he less involved with you in the relationship? Or as in not wanting to go out, do things he always would have done in the past?

Sorry to pry!

Original poster
Iwasafairybutlostmywings · 07/01/2013 16:29

that's ok
we are fine, go out often most recent was before Christmas.
He is just snappy and a bit short with me at the moment sometimes I feel I have said the wrong thing :( even in his last text message tone felt short.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 07/01/2013 16:35

Have you told him how YOU feel? About his text too? If you were to tell him, would he snap at you? Deny that he's being short with you?

Is he stressed at work? Home? Family outside of you (the out-laws)? Is he ill or run down maybe?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/01/2013 16:57

Sudden mood swings and getting snappy with someone are not necessarily due to depression. It can sometimes mean they have found someone new or simply want to end the relationship. By setting up quarrels they are rationalising their decision to quit on the basis that 'we don't get along'. Best not to guess but to ask directly.

Original poster
Iwasafairybutlostmywings · 07/01/2013 19:31

@Mouseface
he's not the talking type emotion hugger as I call it!!!
@cogito mmm was hoping no one would suggest but from reading other threads I don't think I have any thing to worry about. Yes he seems in a bit of a better mood this evening so hopefully I can get plonk him down and have a chat. wish me luck!!! thanks for your replies. x

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