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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worrying about nothing?

54 replies

patienceisvirtuous · 07/01/2013 10:01

I'm a regular but have name-changed for this because it is quite personal.

In short, I recently met a guy I really like :) He's funny, kind, considerate, ...hot :) We have spent 6 evenings together so far - each one resulting in us spending the night together (and sometimes the following day) including night one (I met him on a night out) where it got a bit hot and steamy but didn't result in DTD.

Since then though, we've done the traditional dates, cinema, dinner, etc but we haven't slept together yet.

I know he is 'up for it' so to speak because we sleep close and I can feel that he is Blush. He is very affectionate - hugs, nice kisses etc, but he hasn't tried it on yet.

He does seem to really like me though and tells me he does. He was on holiday over Christmas and text/called me to say he was missing me and thinking about me. He is very sweet but not remotely overbearing.

I can't work out whether, he is a) shy/lacks confidence, b) is being a gentleman/taking things slowly, c) doesn't want to do it, d) can't do it?!

Any advice on how to proceed?! Should I just continue as things are, stop worrying (I'm prone to over thinking stuff even though I try not to!) and see what happens. Should I try to initiate things (caveat - I came out of a bad relationship about 5 months ago and although I manage to hide my lack of confidence quite well, I feel pretty shy about doing this) with the help of some dutch courage. Should I try to talk to him about it? I don't want us to drift into no man's land :-|

It may be worth mentioning, he is late twenties, I am mid-thirties...

OP posts:
patienceisvirtuous · 26/01/2013 21:44

Well - two long months after meeting and mission accomplished!

It was great :o and well worth the wait!

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 27/01/2013 01:22

In the wise words of Eric Morecambe: "Wahey!"

Hissy · 27/01/2013 17:51

tall [sgrin]

OP, It took me about 3m to dtd, I wanted to be sure and trust the guy.

somewhere around 2m is probably about right if you've just come out of a crap relationship.

Main thing is, you got there! Enjoy!

Hissy · 27/01/2013 17:53

Gah! No Scottish smiley?

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