NC as this will definitely make me identifiable. I'll try to be brief but this may still be longish.
So my father has just got divorced from his second wife. Due to their previous living arrangements this means that he's now once again unemployed (he used to work for his wife, she's moving abroad).
My father has always been a slightly unpredictable type. he has a major tendency to get into things with a great deal of enthusiasm and only a minor if any clue. He has not worked in his actual profession since my mother and he separated at the time of his textbook midlife crisis. He has managed to go bankrupt while running the most popular pub in town, though, and has also successfully spent the entire insurance payment from when his house was entirely destroyed by flooding some ten years ago.
Two years ago, my grandmother (who suffers from advanced dementia) burned her house down while cooking. It's now mostly a burned out shell. My father now tells me that he would like to acquire the property by buying his brothers out.
Bad idea IMHO because ...
- This was a dark, cramped house to begin with.
- My uncles demand twice(!!!) the estimated worth of the property
- By my father's own admission, making it habitable again is going to cost at least four times as much (we're talking half a million here, roughly)
- the property is located in a cold, shadowy spot in a small village. Population has been declining for the last 30 years
... and the biggie: It's located right next to the main runway of a major air base! During takeoffs - basically the whole week and some nights - it's virtually impossible to hold a conversation inside.
The total cost of this is likely to be in the region of what my mother paid for her lovely, modern, light 5 bedroom semi in a much more central (and quiet!) location.
As mentioned above, my father cannot currently afford this on the basis of his income. he doesn't have an income apart from JSA. He does have a pension, though, which he would like to have paid out in order to finance this project. He has done this once before when he opened a pub (not financially successful - see above).
My dad is now 56. He will qualify for a state pension in some 10 years time. Given his career history and his general attitude, I very much doubt that he will get anything more than the very basic pension (which depends on your last salary where we live).
Given some legal specialties where we live (currently in Switzerland) I'm seriously afraid that I will end up supporting him all through his old age and will end up solely responsible. I have one sister who is lovely but for various reasons can't cope with a full time job and lives on the verge of poverty.
I'm a professional with what is theoretically a very promising career and an above average salary. However, I am interested in having my own children in the next few years or so. I'd also like to reduce my hours somewhat in order to have something like at least the semblance of a life outside the office.
My father is lovely - but he's also one of the naivest people I know. He has some mental health issues and simply can't seem to assess situations very realistically much of the time. I have raised my concerns with him - he won't listen. In his mind, every young family with four kids will want to live in his house and pay through their nose for the privilege. He's also keen for my sister and me to inherit what is IMO an unsellable property.
Please help me talk some sense into him. I really want a life of my own and can't be responsible for my dad before I'm even 40!