What's he playing at then?

[superstarheartbreaker]

My friend is besotted with a man. I mean absolutely smitten. They have had a fumble but no more. During their fumble he gaveher some sweet talk and said some lovely things to her. She has told him how she feels and he has told her that he dosn't feel the same way. However, he keeps hanging out with her for coffee etc and giving her lingering 'hugs'.
She can't move on and it has been going on for ages. AIBU to think he's being unfair and getting a bit of an ego boost in the process?

yes sounds like he's just stringing her along for the ego boost

he likes her enough to hug her and flirt with her on the occasions when he sees her, but he doesn't like her enough to want a relationship with her.

Yes, sounds like he's not really interested, but is flattered by the attention. I don't think you can do a lot about it - your friend has to realise it for herself! Must be very frustrating for you though.

Trouble is I can't advise her as she never wants to hear the truth and insists she is happy the way things are. I think she feels that something will happen again if she just keeps holding on.

My guess would be in due course he gets into a relationship with someone else. Just leave her to it and be there as a friend which you obviously are. She'll be okay

ps any chance he's gay? which is another potential explanation

I think you just carry on being there for her. It won't go on forever, and when it ends, she will appreciate that you were there for her. I remember being in relationships like that many years ago - I think it's linked to a lack of confidence/ self esteem (to let someone treat you like that). Maybe do some things with her that distract you both, so that you don't have to hear all about it! I wouldn't bother advising her if she doesn't want to listen.