So, I survived a dv relationship and came out the other side, how can I help others? training? job ideas? volunteering?

[humptydidit]

That's it basically.

I really want to get involved in this field, supporting victims of domestic abuse. Has anybody got into working or volunteering in this field? How do you go about it? Who should you ask?

Cheers

I was wanting to do a similar thing too Humpty so i shall watch with interest.

hi smudging
I have done the freedom programme, but not as a leader iyswim and I thiought it was brilliant.

I looked on local dv support website and there is training but it seems to be more for people already in social work/teaching/ care work jobs.

Can you volunteer for womens aid from anywhere in the country?

Please be very careful that this is not a knee jerk reaction. Supporting women in DV situations can be very rewarding, but it can also be very frustrating.

For everyone who comes on MN after the first incident and takes the advice she is given to LTB, there are many many more who endure DV for years, even though they know it is wrong and what they should do. It does require particular skills to wait for these women to reach breaking point and to manage your expectations while you wait...and then obviously some of them don't make it.

For ten years I was in the bizarre situation of supporting women who were suffering DV whilst enduring appalling physical, verbal and emotional abuse myself. My career ended when I could no longer reconcile the two situations.

Now I am just very open about what happened to me. I am proud to be a DV survivor (and XP is still telling everyone 16 years on that I left him for another man!).

Fair play rockin I realise it must be so frustrating to be trying to help somebody when they aren't ready to leave yet.

It is more than 2 years since I left my exH and I have worked so hard to put it all behind me. I guess that I just want to give something back to all the people who supported me. Perhaps that might be a fund raising or admin role rather than face to face... but I want to do something if that makes sense!

I guess like many of us "survivors" I am also very determined to spread the word and to break the silence and taboo around the subject.

I don't know but there must be something positive that I can channel my energies into???

Also, I endured the abuse for 8 long years and only now after leaving I see how poisonous the whole thing was from day 1... but I also recognise that my own father was abusive to my mum and to some extent emotionally abusive to me and my sister... And I am determined to break the cycle in my family. I in no way blame my mum for what I experienced, but I think it was too easy to fall into the trap of accepting it because it was what I grew up with.

But the whole experience has made me so much stronger and a better person, I just regret that I wasted so many years with that arsehole and that my children had to experience their fathers abuse and continue to do so now... by the fact that he refuses to have anything to do with them most of the time.

My daughter has done the bounce back for kids programme which I believe is originally from womens aid too and my son is on a waiting list for the boys version. You would not believe the difference that 10 weeks of sessions has made to a 7 year old girl and I am sooo grateful to the people who ran that course and I hope have changed my daughters life for the better.

Well done you, I to came out the other end although it was a short relationship was scary.

I do know from my time when I was in a womans aid refuge and others wanted to do the same you had to be 2 years on from any DV incidents and refuges and such.

Good luck and all the best.

thank you inneed and well done to you too xx

Hi OP.

I'd first start volunteering with an agency specialising in DV, Women's Aid would be a good one, as they are a nationwide front runner in DV.
I started off volunteering when I was at uni, then worked in various related jobs, while continuing to volunteer, and the last 10 years have been involved with SS, child protection and DV. Usually you have to have a level of experience before you can get a job, you can get this with volunteering, or in training (social work training etc).
Give WA a call or any other local charities involved in DV. Be aware, (you probably are!) that DV does not just come on its own, but usually with a whole host of other issues- mental health, alcohol misuse, child protection etc etc.
As RockinD says, it can be very frustrating, plus very upsetting when children are involved, but every now and again, you have the privilege of really helping someone turn their life around.
Be aware for any 'triggers' you have around DV, so you are prepared when working with people. Best of luck.

I would contact your local women's aid or DV service and ask if they need volunteers. They may also need charity trustees which would be another way to support the service.

I worked for WA for a few years in a finance role and we had some fantastic volunteers, unfortunately we had one or two that had been service users and they had a habit of projecting their own experiences onto people visiting the service.
Our volunteers only acted as receptionists which is a very useful task when you are are very over stretched.

thanks ladies, mrsPnut I think you might be right, it could be hard not to become emtionally involved in a situation and to focus on the client reather than "comparing notes"

But perhaps the freedom programme would be a way to go. I did feel that when I did it, the ladies running it were lovely, but it was very obvious that neither of them had any personal experience in dv, which made them come across a teeny tiny bit patronising at times. Also I think that if you didnt have a very "vocal" group, it could all be a bit wooden if it was just read out of the book, iyswim.

The group I was in, was very vocal and I think once 1 person opened up, it gave others who were less confident, the courage to speak out too and some of the ladies you could really see blossoming before your eyes as they grew braver and stronger.

Will jot down some numbers ready to ring round on monday morning!