DH has PTSD which has led to a reliance on alcohol

[Beaverfeaver]

The traumatic experience happened over 10 years ago, but the past year it's been affecting him much worse.

He is reliant on drinking to push away te anxiety and pictures he experiences and its breaking us as I also have an alcoholic dad and always said I wouldn't tolerate it
MHD went to get help about 5 years ago, but it didn't really do much

I know he needs to go back to get more help again and I'm sure he will

I dot need any replies, I just had to get it off my chest as no one I can talk to in real life as its a hugely personal thing for DH and he struggled telling me.

We have only been married 6 months and the drinking had got to the point that before Christmas I was considering leaving.

I sat him down last night and asked him if e would cut back.
He wouldn't make that promise to me.

He has made this promise a few times in the past months and nothing happened and so last night I said that its the last promise he can make as if he breaks it, I will leave.

He wouldn't make the promise, I got angry and that's when it all came flooding out.

I feel so bad for him. His fears are completely irrational which he knows but he can't force his brain to think that way.

I'm so sad to be living like this

If he won't get help, then you need to get some for you. AA have partners meetings here.

You can't force a drinker to get help. They have to. PTSD is a bitch. If he's ex forces, try Combat Stress.

But concentrate on getting some support for yourself, if he isn't at the point where he is interested in helping himself.

So sorry you are having to go through this, my fil is an alcoholic and won't/can't change, it's the family and yourself that suffer, don't feel guilty for saying you'll leave, you can't put up with it, you deserve happiness .

He's not ex forces. He was about 15 when it happened.
His family were a lot older and mostly got help at the time, but he didn't seem affected back then and didn't eager the help.
It's all just getting to him since he has grown up.

I don't know what kid of help I could get. What could be helpful to me?

Has he been diagnosed with PTSD?

About 5-7 years ago yes, but was refereed to therapist or psychiatrist of some sort and he didn't think it was helping

Would he consider going back to GP and being re referred? He may find treatment/therapy more beneficial now as he is struggling more as time goes on. He does need to tackle the alcohol use whatever else he does. It is a depressant and will only make his symptoms worse.

Having had a trauma in the past does not mean he is not responsible for his actions now. He needs to be open to getting help.

My view, where mental health issues are involved, is that the sufferer should do everything possible to get help rather than let the problem get so bad that it is making their partner unwell or unhappy. As partner, you have a certain obligation to support and encourage them in getting that help - that's what love is. BUT.... big but... if someone is refusing to get help or even acknowledge the problem then they are acting selfishly and not taking their partner's feelings into consideration. Then I think the obligation disappears.

You cannot cure this man or change his behaviour and, sad though it is, if you can't cope with his behaviour and he doesn't take responsibility for his own health then you can't waste your life waiting for something that's never going to happen.

That's what you have to tell him therefore. 'Get help or we can't be together'.

Look up al-anon family support.

there is supporters of people with PTSD forum here, it may be of use