So ? firstly a bit of history ? DP and I have been together 22 years and have 2 DCs together. Our relationship has had ups and downs over the years and earlier last year we separated for 4 months due to financial problems but have since got back together and seem to be happier than ever.
My problem at the moment is as follows ? about 14yrs we split up briefly because he was having an affair ? we then got back together however the OW (who was considerably older)was pregnant and decided that she wanted to keep the baby. They agreed that she would raise the child although they would be honest with them about her father etc ? I was aware of all of this at the time.
Fast forward 13yrs and we have been contacted by them just before Xmas. DP told me about this and we had a long talk about it where we agreed that he would have whatever contact he felt was necessary and I was happy to support him as appropriate. However part of the conversation was also about how we would discuss everything together and make joint decisions as obviously this will have an effect on me and the 2 DC we have together. Today he tells me that he is visiting them for the first time and I?m not sure how to deal with it?..part of me is glad that he is getting to meet his daughter and I have no objection to them having a relationship. I think the part that hurts the most is that when we discussed this before Xmas we agreed that there would be no more secrets so that I wouldn?t feel threatened by this but then he arranges a visit without telling me?.
Am I being selfish? I know this is a big day for him and I really want to support him and I hope that things work out well for them?.but part of me is also very angry that the visit today has been arranged without telling me??.he told me earlier that the visit had been arranged for a couple of days and he didn?t tell me because he didn?t know how to?.