Don'tstep Thanks. I know it's trivial. The end usually is isn't it? 
My father criticised me all my life, told me I was fat. I wasn't, but I believed him at the time. Everything I did was a negative. I was the brainy one, sister was the athletic (thin) one. Pictures don't lie, the ones I saw a few years ago are totally different to how I saw them as a teen. I know they are the same now as they were then, but I looked at myself with shame at the time, now I see a normal sized girl.
She never said anything to bolster me, or support me, or challenge him.
When DS was having poo issues, my DF told me it was DS way of punishing me. He chose his OW family over us, he hasn't changed, constant snipping, and stressy visits due to his judgemental behaviour. 'I suppose it's hard to keep the house clean when you are working...' I stopped talking to him last year. There is so little point to having him in my life. I do feel better now that he's not.
DM never asked me how I was when seriously depressed, not even after the OD.
My ExH, she continued to support and be nice to him when we were divorced, despite there being no reason to. She did this to spite me. She never asked me how I was. She rubbed the divorce/split in my face by booking a hotel room for me and him, 9 MONTHS after I had left.
My abusive ExP, when he left 2 years ago, she rang HIM to say goodbye, then buggered off on holiday to the other side of the world without saying goodbye to me, when it had been known for months when he was finally leaving, and when I would finally be alone and free. Took her a few days to call me when she got back, and then for weeks she couldn't get off the phone quick enough.
During the abusive relationship, if I happened to mention that I was having a rubbish day, even as blithely as that, I would not hear from her for 2-3 weeks. Literally. I was utterly isolated, thousands of miles away from anyone that cared, and being hideously abused, trapped in a flat for weeks at a time and sometimes hit.
SisterDearest went further. she ignored me too, but then told me after, when he'd left, that she did that on purpose. She knew that I thought she was just busy, but she told me that she wasn't that busy, she chose to ignore me. She was proud of what she did to me, she told me with a smile. That hurt so bad, I didn't even feel it at the time. It took weeks to fully sink in. I don't talk to her anymore. My family have pressured me to get over myself. I can't ever make that right. I have tried.
I work with a new charity to fund free support for victims of DV. I give speeches to roomfuls of people, Doctors, The Army, politicians.
If I mention DV, DM always brings up people she knew that suffered from it. She never asked me how I was, how I was doing. Not when in therapy, not when going to the group, not when attending the FP.
I've been angry, I've ranted, I've cried, I've howled. I've sat in numb, disbelieving shock at the callousness of them all. I haven't confronted any of them. I know there is no point.
If I show them the proof, it will show them their failings. they won't allow that to happen, cos people who do what they do are BAD people, and they won't admit that.
I ought to be used to feeling this isolated. When does it stop hurting?