He wants an abortion; I don't *UPDATE*

[trustissues75]

Firstly thank you to everyone who replied with constructive comments and sensitivity. I have a very happy ending to the dilemma.

Over Christmas I had several very bad bleeds and with it being Christmas and the general state of the NHS I didn't get a scan until yesterday; it was the opinion of every medical professional that this would be an assessment scan to figure out if I needed a D+C.

It turned out that there is, in fact, a 12+4 baby in there wriggling away to its heart's content!

DP burst out laughing after the initial shock and explanation as to why I keep bleeding. We left the ultrasound room to go and talk to the nurse who was equally as shocked as we were and DP just started crying and told me he'd been doing a lot of thinking this past couple of weeks and that if there was anyone that had ever been in his life that he would want a baby with its me.

He's excited - a little worried since there is a potential problem - but was telling everyone we went past who would listen that he was going to be a dad.

We went straight to his parent's and grandparents to tell them the news - his mother just broke down because she'd resigned herself to him never having children. All his friends know, he's facebooked it.

I've got my man back!!!

Wonderful news. I saw your previous thread and am so pleased you have such a happy resolution.

Good luck with your pregnancy and impending parenthood.

Oh, that's lovely

Not everyone, even mothers, wants a baby at first, but this doesn't stop them becoming fabulous parents. (My mother admitted she was appalled when she first got pregnant, but a more doting mum you would never hope to meet.) I hope everything goes swimmingly and that you and DP find real joy with your LO.

Oh I'm so pleased that you didn't lose the pregnancy . I hope the rest of it continues in health & less stress.

Congratulations OP I'm glad everything's working out for you and all the best with the rest of your pregnancy

Congratulations!!!!

That's wonderful news!
Can I ask what explanation they gave to the bleeding? In France bleeding in pregnancy is pretty much regarded as normal,they don't worry about it they way we do here. It's just seen as one of those things so please try not to worry too much (I know it's easy to say though). FWIW I had several bad bleeds with my DD and was convinced numerous times it was all over but today is her 7th birthday!
Now get your feet up and relax and let Daddy to be look after you!
You deserve it after the stress you've been through.

Ah brilliant! Congratulations and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy

Glad things have worked out but never forget how this started, will you? A man who demands his pregnant partner does something as horrible as abortion is not a good man.

Ah that's wonderful news. So pleased

I am so happy to hear that!

I had very bad bleeds with DS through the second half of first tri, and he is now a happy and healthy 2yo who loves to destroy my house. It's always scary but can be perfectly harmless. Wishing you all the best.

That's lovely OP

Thank you all.

Bumhead - they're not sure yet what it is but it's one of two things - a twin that didn't make it or a subchorionic hematoma - lots of scans in the next few weeks to keep an eye on it and make sure it's not going to be a problem.

Cogito - thank you I very much see your point except that people do say shitty things under stress (he didn't demand though, certainly wasn't saying it was him or the baby, yes it was what he wanted and I was (am still a bit saddened) that that was his initial reaction) but it was a suck it and see situation; he wasn't threatening to throw us out, I said I would leave, which scared the hell out of him - only time's going to tell. There's never any guarantees with anything and if I have to I'll do it on my own (I was prepared to anyway)

Well, fingers crossed - I stupidly went researching about hematomas last night and it's made me nervous (I really shouldn't do that kind of thing)

I'm glad it's all worked out ok for you both!

I had a subchorionic hematoma with DC2 and had a couple of bleeds but he's a bouncing 20mo now so it worked out well for me - it got reabsorbed at around 16 weeks iirc

So pleased for you

Oh that's brought a tear to my eye :) Very very pleased for you that you have your 'man back' - he sounds fully 'made up' about it doesn't he!! I will send you lots and lots of good vibes that everything goes well with your pregnancy.

Im very happy for you OP, i hope everything goes well for you.

I had similar bleeding with my last pregnancy, with similar explanation given. The rest of my pregnancy was fine.

I am glad for you!

I'm so pleased for you sweetheart I'm really glad he finally came round to it sometimes the fear of losing something makes you realise how much you truly wanted it. I hope everything works out well for you both and you can be happy together with your new child in the future

Sending you best wishes. Take it easy, (don't self diagnose on the Internet!).

So happy for you, I'm actually tearing up. (old cynical me)

And good news here for a change too. :)

All the best for your pregnancy and baby, and relationship too.

Congratulations, so pleased - stay away from Dr. Google!

I had heavy bleeding with dc2 sporadically from 16-18 weeks and all was fine, it was 'unexplained'.

Congrats and good luck x

Congratulations!! Men become funny creatures when they are scared and stressed and he seems over the moon now so that's great!
Good luck to you with the rest of your pregnancy

Congratulations!!! I am so pleased for you!

My dd, that my husband wanted me to abort is now 11 and we have another dd who is 8, so sometimes things work out well. I'm really pleased they have for you xxx