Though I'm also prepared to be told I didn't, even though this isn't AIBU...
First, some background because I haven't posted about this before, and I don't want to dripfeed. StbxDH and I split up 2 1/2 years ago. It was a mutual decision, and he went to live with his new partner; a woman he'd been seeing whilst we were together. StbxDH was emotionally, financially, and borderline sexually abuse- I'm receiving support from the local DV team for help coming to terms with this. The abuse has continued since we split, resulting in me needing to get my solicitor to write letters to him telling him to back off. He has, previously, refused to comply with mediation.
The issue tonight is that dd2 slammed her finger in the car door as she was closing it. She's 11, and therefore normally very capable of doing this, nothing similar has ever happened before etc, it was purely an accident. Immediately afterwards, her finger was swollen, the nail was bleeding, and as well as obviously causing her a lot of pain, she couldn't bend her finger at all. I wrapped a bit of gauze around finger, and put her hand into a sling (I've done a few courses on first aid), and gave her some painkillers. It seemed to me fairly obvious that taking her to A&E to get checked would be a good idea.
My other dd, during this time, had text her father telling him what had happened to dd2, and said to me, as I was on my way out of the door that I had to call him "like now- quick, before he kills me!". I had every intention of calling him after I had ensued dd2 had got medical attention, I hasten to add, it was just she was my priority at that point. In the event, he phoned me, asking what had happened and why was I taking her to the hospital. He wasn't satisfied with my answer when I told him why, and repeatedly stated he didn't think she needed to go, and if she did, he didn't want me taking her. I ignored him, and took her anyway.
At the hospital, I told the receptionist the full story, including that I was worried he would arrive at the hospital and start shouting at me- he's done that before, when dd1 was ill and he didn't think she needed attention. Whilst we were waiting to be triaged, he and his DP arrived and started questioning dd2, saying things like is it really that bad, can you really not move it, is it really necessary, does it really hurt; it looks alright to me. He told me that me taking her to be checked wasn't necessary, any normal person would have left it until the morning and seen how it was then. I stayed calm, and told him that considering I wasn't a doctor, a didn't feel able to make that judgement, and thus I thought erring on the side of caution was the best thing to do. He disagreed with me, raising his voice and being loud and aggressive. I suggested that bring the case, we could go speak to someone medically trained and discuss whether or not she needed to be seen, but that was what being triaged was for. At that point he settled down.
To cut an already long story short, she was seen, x-rayed, and had a dressing put on her finger. The nurse said that she had been very lucky as it wasn't broken, but that she needs to be seen by the practice nurse to have it redressed on Monday.
Now, my worries. I'm concerned by him telling me she didn't need to he seen by anyone when he, at that point, hadn't seen the injury. Based on the description I gave above, which is pretty much what I said to him, I felt she really needed medical attention. He told her she didn't need to be seen, and it was just an opportunity for me to enjoy an evening in A&E from the time he got there. I'm really worried that his behaviour has developed into a child protection/safeguarding issue. Obviously I'm going to talk it through with my solicitor tomorrow, but I'd really appreciate other people's perspectives. Did I do the right thing? Did I over-react?
Sorry for typos etc. I'm in my phone and even though it happened hours ago, I still feeling rather shaky.