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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

my husband and i are on different wavelengths

3 replies

chiminybangbang · 03/01/2013 21:46

Does anyone else have this problem? Thete's nothing dramatically wrong with our relationship...he's not violent, he works hard, he's a great dad. But increasingly i feel like we have nothing to say to each other once the kids are in bed. We've always been very different, i'm very outgping and chatty, love being on the go and a big planner, whereas he's a real introvert, loves his alone time and is extremely relaxed to the point of being horizontal. I know people always found us a strange match from the off but i've always thought opposites attract and we complement each other. But just lately he is driving me crazy...he has got nothing to say for himself and i feel like i drag him kicking and screaming into every major life decisioncwe have to make...me going back to work, moving house...i have to make all the decisions and he just goes along with me. I get my own way, but i almost feel lonely because there's no real discussion or daydreaming together about things. He says he loves me and is happy and i know he's not having an affair...he just wants a quiet life. But i just feel so frustrated that at the moment all my fun and interesting conversations are with other people and we are just business partners bringing up our children. Does anyone else feel like that?
Excuse typing, on very awkwatd phone!

OP posts:
honeysmummy1 · 03/01/2013 21:57

Sometimes I feel like this too. Me and my other half are totally different people with totally different interests.
I think you should just tell him how you feel, see if he can work on it. Then that way you have done your bit by letting him know and then you can leave the ball in his court. He has to make more effort in the relationship.
Life is so dull when you have nothing to talk about. That would frustrate me. I am the talker in my relationship my other half just comes home has dinner and starts playing games on his phone, watching simpsons and im sitting trying to ask about his day and he will just say yeah was ok, nothing much happened. Yet when i come home I tell him almost every detail of my day. We don't like the same tv programs or same sport, same nothing although we both like spicy food. apart from that we have no shared interests and it can be frustrating at times.

jenny99 · 03/01/2013 21:59

I feel like that.

Am working on making things better after confessing recently to having an affair. We are having counselling and OH is trying really really hard to be more proactive and involved in everything.

Not sure I can offer any advice, but I know how you feel x

OhFFSMum · 10/06/2023 09:47

@jenny99 hi, I know this is a really old thread but I'm curious if you and your husband managed to get back on track? Am in a similar situation and wondering if there is any way to claw things back

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