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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When did you take your wedding ring off??

28 replies

LouMacca · 03/01/2013 11:52

When you agreed to separate or when you actually got divorced?

Thanks.

OP posts:
SoHHKB · 03/01/2013 11:53

When I told him I was leaving I kept it and my engagement ring though because he wanted to keep the watch I'd bought him

MirandaWest · 03/01/2013 11:55

Somewhere in the middle. Took it off full time when I started dating again after separating so about 9 months after we split up. Had taken the engagement ring off almost straight after separating. Don't think it matters really - is up to you.

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 03/01/2013 12:01

I don't remember. I remember thinking I would need some symbolic moment to take it off, and then in the end I think I just took it off some random time on some random day not too long after we split, because there was obviously no reason for me to keep wearing it: it was over.

You'll know what the right time is for you. Go for the symbolic date if that's what you want, or just whenever the moment feels right for you.

LouMacca · 03/01/2013 12:09

I guess it feels right now. Just don't want to inflict more pain on H. Plus I can't actually get it off!! :-) Any tips welcome!

OP posts:
HotDAMNlifeisgood · 03/01/2013 12:14

Soap? Anything oily, like moisturiser or even butter?

LouMacca · 03/01/2013 12:17

Can't believe it's not Butter did the trick. Feels weird. It's been on for over 14 years. Think I will put my engagement ring back on, it's a passed down family one.....

OP posts:
HotDAMNlifeisgood · 03/01/2013 12:25

Sounds great, if the family heirloom brings you comfort.

I got over the "feels weird" feeling by buying myself a bunch of different lovely, colourful costume jewelry type rings that fit my ring finger.

LouMacca · 03/01/2013 12:29

Thanks Hot that's what I'll do!! Was looking at some lovely rings in M&S before Xmas :-)

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/01/2013 13:10

I still wear my old engagement ring because I like it, not because of any sentimental association. The wedding ring is in my jewellery box and I think I took it off the day he walked out.

crazygracieuk · 03/01/2013 13:13

I took mine off 2 days after I kicked him out as it (the marriage) doesn't mean anything anymore.

WaitingForMe · 03/01/2013 13:16

I took both off the day I told him it was over. He also took his off... to throw across the room in anger.

It lived on the floor for about a week.

Redwinekeepsmesane · 03/01/2013 13:19

Took mine off the day I kicked him out. Still sitting with engagement and eternity ring somewhere in the house. Should sell them really as have no emotional attachment to them.

ProphetOfDoom · 03/01/2013 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoHHKB · 03/01/2013 13:47

FWIW, I keep meaning to ask my xh for his wedding ring so I can have all three made into a necklace or similar for our dds 18th - seems a shame to see gold and diamonds go to waste... Wink

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/01/2013 14:07

"when I find them, what should I do with them? "

Take them to a jewellers (not one of these Gold 4 U type sharks) and get a good price. Then use the money to buy something new that makes you happy

UterusUterusGhaLaLaLaLaLi · 03/01/2013 17:48

Just now, and I couldn't get them back on. Grin

That's that then.

imFINEthanks · 03/01/2013 17:53

The day I told the cheating, lying twunt to leave forever. He took it with him 'for safe keeping' and I've never seen it again Grin.

ThereISaidIt · 03/01/2013 21:03

I can't remember exactly, but I think it was when I made the decision that I was going to file for divorce.

It took ages for the mark it left on my finger to disappear. It felt like part of a healing process.

lemonstartree · 03/01/2013 21:28

The day I kicked him out. It was over and a very symbolic gesture...later sold platinum and diamond wedding ring for about 15% of its cost. The cheapskate never gave me an engagement ring!

TisILeclerc · 03/01/2013 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowshapes · 03/01/2013 22:23

About two years ago, but we are still married. I am not happy, but keep thinking I should give it another few months. Like some miracle will make everything okay.

surreygrump · 03/01/2013 22:40

Think I managed to leave it on for about 90 mins after he admitted the affair. I laid it on him as he lay on the couch guess he was in shock as I was and have remained really quite calm and dignified. Found it on bedside table think its in a pot and will pass it on. Guess it will not have same sentiment that I got from my Mum's if that makes sense

KirstyWirsty · 03/01/2013 22:46

When I found out about his affair I confiscated his and threw mine at him .. It bounced back to me and I stuck it in my pocket along with his

I started wearing my first engagement ring on my wedding finger instead but after a fortnight switched that to my right hand as I was worried about people congratulating me on my engagement Hmm

LouMacca · 03/01/2013 23:02

Thanks for replies everyone. Un-Mumsnet hugs to you all. My DS has given me the ring from The Lord of the Rings Lego set, I've put it on a necklace :-) H hasn't noticed.....yet!!!

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 04/01/2013 03:29

While we were still married and living together. He'd been repeatedly unfaithful and they just didn't mean anything anymore.

He took them and pawned them. The wedding and engagement ring I don't care about but the eternity ring he gave me after ds was born meant a lot to me because of ds and I am still Sad when I think about it and wish so much I still had it.