Lost a friend

[icepole]

I am feeling really sad about it although it would seem it is for the best. We were friends from the age of 17, she knows everything about me. We haven't lived in the same place for a while now but stayed friends. I stayed with her a few times last year but came away from each visit not feeling particularly good about myself, I got the impression that she wasn't that interested in being friends with me anymore. I was supposed to stay with her a few more times but she made excuses and cancelled. Then she was in my area and I arranged to meet her, left where I was working that day early and rushed to the place and she cancelled again. I stopped contacting her after that and she hasn't contacted me either.

Our lives are different. I know it is a natural thing, people move on but I feel really sad about it. It's nearly twenty years of friendship. I think I invested more in it than she did now that I look back on it.

Anyway all the best to her. I just needed to say this to someone.

People do move on as their lives and priorities change. It's funny. We accept that boyfriends are going to come and go but, for some bizarre reason, we think other types of friends should last for ever. Much harder to dump a mate than an old flame. Pity she could do it to your face and felt she had to avoid you instead.

Onward and upward

Sorry Icepole, it is always sad to lose a friend, esp when you probably have a lot of memories if it's been a long friendship. However, if as you said you weren't feeling good about yourself after your meetings it doesn't sound like things were going that well. A similar thing happened to me about 18 years ago, she suddenly stopped wanting to meet up without any explanation, still saddens me as we had a lot of fun times together.

We shrug our shoulders and move on. All the best to you.

It's shit, isn't it? I lost a friend recently too, and have been very upset over it (trying not to use the word heartbroken here )

You seem lovely though OP, and I'm sure you have (and will make) lots more friends.

Yes, it happened to me too. We were 15 when we met and we 'lived in one another's pockets' for several years. We drifted apart, kept in touch now and again and met up a couple of times...then nothing. The last time I saw her or heard from her was in 1985.

I still miss her. I still wonder how she is and I still wish I could get in touch with her ~ just to know she is happy and well.

It is a bit like heartbreak, I do feel hurt and a great sense of loss. We don't seem to talk about the end of friendships much as a society, not in the way we talk about the end of romantic relationships which is weird because I had shared a lot more with her than all of my past boyfriends out together.