How seriously do courts/solicitors/police take emotional/verbal abuse in relationships?

[Wereonourway]

I'm asking this cos I'm bang in the middle of it with exdp.
We split last summer but he continues to bully/intimidate me at every opportunity.
I recognised a while ago just how serious his behaviour was, just how horrifying it could be and I know I need to find strength to completely combat the effect he has on me.
I'm about to return to solicitor and ask advice about reducing contact/ getting specific orders in place. Not because of ex's behaviour towards me but cos he isn't the most responsible or reliable dad but I'm interested to know how legal system will view his bullying and nastiness. Is it intertwined??
I ask because it seems more clear cut when physical abuse has taken place and the nature of emotional abuse means a lot of it is my word against his, how I react to him/ misunderstandings etc.
He put little effort into ds, never has but is instant he is "as much a parent as me".
I have been very generous(or soft/scared) and given him lots of contact and have been verbally abused at every opportunity despite being fair and flexible.
I know this is due to the EA, I know I can't reason with him, I could never do enough, will always be in wrong etc but will solicitors/cafcass/courts see this??
Anyone any exerience of having dealt with contact with EA ex?
I know I need to change, be stronger and firmer and very much plan to be but again this may come across as me being awkward, it's a very grey area for me, maybe I can't see the woods for the trees??

Its difficult to say how this would be viewed without having any real knowledge. Are you able to give examples of this emotional abuse?
As for the verbal - again it is subjective. What one person considers appropriate, another may not. But emotions do run high in separated families and the courts are used to dealing with this and trying to separate it from the real issues.

I don't really have any experience of dealing with the legal side of things but ex was very much like this. Very demanding yet unreliable and unreasonable. In my case after going through a few months of verbal abuse on the phone and on the doorstep I simply refused to communicate with him, changed numbers and told him if he wished to pursue contact he would have to go through a third party, he never did.

One thing I would certainly do in your case is to keep a diary of everything that's happening and even possibly record any phonecalls.

You should find the police are taking bullying, intimidation and things like stalking much more seriously than they did in the past. Worth dialling 101, asking for their Domestic Violence team and talking it through. They'll need evidence such as text messages, e-mails, witnesses to the verbal abuse. Get the police involved, go 'zero tolerance', back it up with facts and a good solicitor should be able to work with it.

Gosh where do I start. If I say no to him(over anything) I'm a cunt.
He rang me and threatened to kill me the day e found out I'd gone to a solicitor( only to formalise contact, not reduce or stop it).
Told me I deserve my life to be made hell cos I went to solicitor. I agreed to his request for days/tines( again to stop abuse and grief), this new agreement happened to include an overnight which fell on Xmas eve, when I emailed him to tell him I agreed to those days and times he replied this "oh well, Xmas eve falls on a Monday, looks like u won't be seeing your son on Xmas day, didums".
Ex hasn't stepped up to parenting, ever. He has never bathed him alone, very rarely makes meals for him(takes ds to his grans instead), never did night feeds( told me he would put me through the wall the last time I dared ask him to see to ds during night).
Ex also binge drinks each Saturday and I've been handed info to say he has picked ds up on at least three Sundays having had only 2-4 hours sleep. If I mention this I'm a cunt.
I totally see that he can't take responsibility seriously, that he blames me for his lack of parenting skills(I'm out to get him etc). I believe it's plainly obvious( and it wasn't for a long long time) but I'm worried courts etc will see me as being vindictive and not having ds best interests at heart.
Ex is very good at saying I'm as bad as him, I wind him up til he snaps etc.
It's a living nightmare at the minute but one I'm determined to get through

For the record is love ds to have a close, loving relationship with his dad. I believe his dads behaviour prevents this. I do not want ds to grow up with his dads attitude and think its ok to call anyone a cunt.
A big issue at the minute is ex having a go because "I'm in control". Over Xmas I have given set times, within reason and still above and beyond the access he normally gets/ wants. This obviously still has not been good enough.
I am seeing my solicitor tomorrow and have been referred by local women's aid to "talking changes". My life is a zillion times better than it was this time last year and want all of this sorted so I can recover and enjoy my life in peace with my ds.

He sounds delightful!!
So no, I don't think this is you being awkward at all. You need to keep a record of this and it would be my advice to move to zero contact with him (you that is, not your child). Perhaps involve a third party in handovers and refuse to engage at all. It is a tactic we had to use with my husband's ex wife: eventually the lack of contact allowed things to cool down and they are at least on talking terms now (3 years later!!)
If you have a contact schedule put in place and approved by the courts, whatever that is, it removes a huge part of the need to have to communicate with each other. And it sounds like you need that break from him.

Definitely talk to the police on the non-emergency number and get some advice. Also consider talking to Womens Aid - they can be good on precisely this kind of thing. Keep records of phone-calls and e-mails. (Significant he refers to 'your son' rather than 'our') Very often bullies like this talk a good game but aren't bothered enough about their children to want to pursue it through the courts.

Ex has never been to see a solicitor of his own, but said he is now because he is sick of me controlling ds.
I've been too frightened to be tough before now and am worried letting things go will work against me. I just want a peaceful life and a happy ds.
I'm sure ex will disagree with anything I now suggest, I simply plan hangovers and ignore. He was still awake on a bender at 7.30am this morning and text asking to see ds at dinner time, I have all of the above saved to a phone and have kept a weekly diary.
I'd like his behaviour to be taken seriously, he says he is fighting for ds yet can't stay sober for him, it's clearly abating me and making my life crap that ex craves.