Share how you've brought a flaky, inattentive DP back into line

[catshavefeelings]

I'm thinking here of DPs who've become inattentive or flaky, or are taking you and the relationship for granted, rather than the vile abusers or those who've acquired an OW.

Wondering what's worked for you to bring them into line and make them realise that they need to stop being useless put more into the relationship or you'll be off in theory, anyway.

These have, to some extent, worked for me in the past:

Told him I was being considered for a purely ficticious promotion but I'd have to spend every third week in London with that drop dead gorgeous boring guy from head office

Over a period of a week went from looking like a bag lady to being fit to be seen in daylight transformed my appearance.

Let him take the lead with texts/phone calls/meetings - only responded when he made the first move - found this one really difficult due to being needy and a control freak

When we did meet, was very light and bubbly probably seemed a bit mad, actually with no talk of us/the relationships/problems/the future.

What have you tried? And what's worked?

Watching

"into line", really?

Lueji
told you I was a bit of a control freak , but you know what I mean - stop being useless/lazy/not seeming to care.

I find not playing stupid childish games works quite well.

"Bring them into line" ?

I would kick a flaky inattentive DP into touch.

Fucking hell OP, please tell me it's a joke? Lying to DP? Why not, you know, talk about your concerns...???

When there's no shortage of lovely guys around, why would any self-respecting woman want to bother bringing a 'flaky, inattentive dp
back into line'?

And if you don't feel you're getting sufficient attention from a current squeeze, why not dump tell them?

You're not talking about a 'dp', are you? You're talking about a boyfriend who's not that into you. In which case, dump him before he dumps you.

Hey I'm with you OP. Anything that works. I found considering going on an all girls' holiday for a week did the trick with one ex. A training course in a hotel with colleagues was another. And the merest hint that someone else might be on the scene is a dead cert.

Threaten to leave, ensuring that your actions show you are serious eg getting legal advice.

It all sounds like a lot of hard work, OP. I couldn't be arsed with the sort of relationship where I had to lie to get attention.

My partner is a bit off in his own world a lot. He is very into his job and prone to taking people for granted. I have a lot of my own stuff going on to, so it's not normally a problem, but when it did get a bit ridiculous (going off on a work thing and not being in contact for 5 days) I just told him that I didn't want that sort of relationship and that if it continued, we would break up. No game-playing, it was the truth. He's been much better after that.

If I felt the need to lie to bring a boyfriend 'into line' then it would be relationship over.

The things you describe are the sort of things I would have done when I was 14.

My tip would be to act ike a grown up and talk about things rather than manipulate him.

How about remembering that being single is better than all but the best relationships, and simply dumping an unsatisfactory man? There is so much more to life than focussing on pleasing men so you can be owned by one.

If I were him, I'd run away as fast as I could.........