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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Help - Confused!

3 replies

talie101 · 01/01/2013 14:14

Been on my own some years now. Exh left me for OW. Not had a relationship since but have dated. Each time I make excuses, very few reach a second date and definitely no third dates etc.

Unsure what the reason for this is? Am I not completely over my exh (I'd like to think I am!) or have I just not met a man I want to enter into a relationship with?

OP posts:

Lueji · 01/01/2013 14:26

I think only you can answer that.

If you don't fancy any of these men, then you don't.
It's quite likely that you haven't met anyone you really like.

Do you ever compare these men to ex?

Lueji · 01/01/2013 14:26

I think only you can answer that.

If you don't fancy any of these men, then you don't.
It's quite likely that you haven't met anyone you really like.

Do you ever compare these men to ex?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/01/2013 15:47

Assuming not all of your rejects were horrible people but that you quite liked some of them? When your trust has been shattered & confidence dented by someone close you thought you knew it's tempting to question your judgement or not want to get too close to anyone in case you open yourself up to being hurt again. You are almost certainly over your ex in the sense that you don't still pine after him. But he's probably left a legacy of making you more cynical and more selective about a replacement.

Another thought... 'Dates' are also very loaded occasions with a lot of expectations on all sides. You're both looking across the table at each other thinking 'shag/marry/push off a cliff' (as my DS charmingly puts it ).... rather than 'could we be friends?'. Maybe you'd be better off meeting men in a different way for a while?

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