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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just forget about it ....... and move on

7 replies

stoopidCUPID · 31/12/2012 22:02

..... My husbands words after I said that I'd like to start the new year on a positive note after his affair this year

Apparently he doesn't know what else to say!!!!

Am gob smacked.

OP posts:
tiredofwaitingforitalltochange · 31/12/2012 22:10

He's the one who should be moving on... to a different home with a suitcase.

Read this, it might cheer you up.

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/4286223/From-wrecking-his-car-to-hacking-off-his-bits-how-to-exact-revenge-on-a-lover.html

dequoisagitil · 31/12/2012 22:13

What work have you done together to deal with his infidelity?

What does he do to prove he can be worthy of your trust?

stoopidCUPID · 31/12/2012 22:52

Tbh he hasn't really done much to appease me. I feel sad. We gave a DVD aged 9. I really want to bail out and go alone but I fear for dc - dh is a feel a time bomb as he has really no fuse relating to our doc - too short tempered. I feel we are better together so that I can protect. I know thats wrong but at the moment that's how I feel I hope you all understand

OP posts:
dequoisagitil · 31/12/2012 23:04

Sweetheart, really, do you think dh will have more influence as a 24/7 dad or if he were doing alternate weekends and a night? C'mon? Being apart shows what is acceptable and what isn't.

I know that may not end up the situation, but you can't actually protect your dc from his anger by staying married to the a-hole.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh · 01/01/2013 19:54

Why not let the other woman have him, if he's a bad tempered abusive arsehole? You might be a lot happier without him - and if he is aggressive and a bad parent you can insist on only supervised contact between him and DC.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/01/2013 20:04

He's clearly not sorry for the affair so now you have an aggressive man on your hands who thinks he's entitled to shag who he likes because it's up to you to 'forget about it and move on'. You're in a very weak position.

Rather than feeling trapped by assumptions about access arrangements, why not see a solicitor and get some professional advice?

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