DH worried about seeing GP for anti-ds. Advice please?

[letseatgrandma]

DH has had a turbulent work history-never been happy in his career, despite changing jobs a few times. He feels overworked and undervalued (as do a large percentage of the workforce-me included!) and is currently very unhappy.

He works such long hours (well, probably not that long-but with a long commute either end of the day so he's usually out 7am-8pm and then is miserable and shattered when he's home. I know lots of people work similar hours, but the ones I know don't hate their jobs. He is also very overweight and is depressed about this as he feels there is no time to exercise.

He has been like this before and ended up on Anti-ds (citalopram) which helped and he came off them and was in a better place but he won't do this again now as he thinks that he won't be able to get a new job as they'll ask about his mental history and he'll have to tell the truth. Our life insurance went up masses before when he declared this. ~~Is there no way to get help without it affecting jobs etc?

Most companies don't ask people to declare their medical history unless the role involves something specific that might be affected by mental or physical illness. You might not want an air traffic controller with a history of panic attacks... guessing.

If he needs medication he needs medication and he should see his GP rather than inventing reasons to avoid it. I'd also suggest that if he is 'never happy' in a more general sense then he probably needs to take a step back, stop making excuses & work out what he could do constructively about his weight & fitness, attitude to work, commuting time, self-worth etc... even if it's just a few tweaks for the better it would help.

Exercise, for example. If he gets home at 8pm what's stopping him putting on a pair of trainers and going for a walk after supper? A half-hour walk is as good as a session at the gym and it might also improve his mental state at the same time.

There's nothing worse than having a job you hate/makes you stressed. I went on anti dps over a job that was consuming my life. I worked 12 hr days for a low wage with bullies for bosses and a non stop work load. I would cry when I was off work and it consumed my life until I had a panic attack at work and after my boss refused to let me go home I walked out and they fired me. I had bills to pay and was very scared but was very ill too. I literally job hunted for 12hrs a day and lost a lot of weight but after 3wks I had a new job. I can't tell you how much my life has changed, came straight off the anti-dps. I know finding a new job is not easy but I did it last year and I have little experience or qualifications. I would try and solve your dh's problems together before taking medicine because although I came off them easy my dh took years, good luck

Is your DH job-hunting 12 hours a day OP or does he have some other excuse to avoid that as well?

For most jobs this will be irrelevant. For the few where it is, he will be assessed by Occupational Health. Frankly they would rather see someone on anti-ds making a massive effort to get control of their mood than someone refusing to take them and pretending there isn't a problem as it is the latter person who is far more likely to go off sick and cause problems for the company.

Please remember as well that your occ health form is confidential so your line manager should only know about your health if it is relevant. Bog standard depression is highly unlikely to be relevant.

I speak as someone who has had to see Occ Health in every job I've ever had and works in an environment where poor mental health would be a problem. Honestly Occ Health LOVE you when you turn up and say 'this is my diagnosis and I have the following strategies to deal with it'.

They shouldn't ask him about health issues until after they've made him a job offer, I don't think. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong!) And unless they have firm reason to think that he won't be able to do the job, they can't then discriminate against him on the basis that he's taking antidepressants. Occupational health may well want to speak to him before he starts the job (this always happens to me), but they can't withdraw a job offer without extremely good reason.

Yes freudian is right. Employers are not allowed to ask about health until making a job offer. Your dh needs to go back to the GP or he runs the risk of losing this job and then find it a lot harder to get another.