Not sure what to do? Advice needed!

[Ckmummyx]

I've been with my dp for 9 years & we have a 7 & 4 year old. We are engaged to be married in 8 months.

He's been secretive with his phone recently & a couple of days ago I found some messages he'd been sending on adult work Enquiring about bookings, owo & basically telling other girls they are hot. He has no feedback on there. It looks like he made one booking in August for £20 and for 25min so I don't what the hell that would be?! I'm not surprised as we haven't had the best sex life since I went through a court case a few months ago.
I haven't said anything yet as I want some advice on where I stand moving out.

We live down south & all my family live up north. He's always said he wouldnt want me moving up there with the kids if we split up as its so far away. I was recently the victim in a court case with a member of my family & that person has been sent to prison for 16 years. However because of this a lot of my family have stopped speaking to me as they are supporting the person. My dp has a lot of family support. Also I have depression & am having counselling & I think he would use the fact I have 'mental health problems' against me.
Sorry for the life story but would any of these factors result in him getting full custody of the kids?

Any advice would help, thanks!

Don't understand what messages you are talking about re: adult work...is this a mis type?

Possibly a webcam session or the like?

Having depression won't count against you, especially as you are dealing with it through counselling.

Adultwork is a website where people advertise sexual services, and I'd agree that £20 for 25 minutes sounds like web-camming.

No, OP, he's unlikely to get residence because of your depression, but he could stop you moving north with the dc.

No. Ask on the lon parents board and see how many of us were driven on anti-depressants by the time we left or split up.

You sound like you've an a nightmare this lsat year. An absolute nightmare. You're not getting the support you need, and worse, he's giving you something else to be stressed about.

He's using the AdultWork site to engage with prostitutes offering rl services or online encounters of the peep show kind.

As you've been the victim in what was obviously a serious matter it's not surprising you are receiving counselling, but please rest assured that depresson is not, in itself, a condition that can be used against you in the event that your dp were to apply for residency of the dc.

Am I correct in assuming that you are not married to your arse of a p? Do you own/rent the property you live in and is it in joint names, or his/your sole name?

Do you work and do you have sufficient funds to rent a place of your own? Given that some of your family have sided with the individual who is now serving a lengthy prison sentence, would you wish to move north or stay within a reasonable distance of your present address to faciliate your dcs' contact with their df?

I don't think moving back north near your family is the right thing to do. If you do move, you need everyone to be on your side and clearly they aren't (though just as clearly the judge is.)

I also don't think it's good for the children to live so far away from their dad, as long as he is a good father to them.

I can see why you want to leave him. I would, too. Have you cancelled the wedding? The sooner you do that, the cheaper it will be for you.

What was your relationship like before all this happened?

Sorry I didn't mean msgs I meant emails requesting bookings, meet ups, likes etc.

I work as a midwife, don't have a lot saved but could rent somewhere on my own, we rent our house under a joint tenancy. The reason I was considering moving away is because the family I do still speak to inc my mum are all up north & it's only his family around us in the town we live in now.

He has a good relationship with the children & I wouldn't ever stop him seeing them. I just don't think I should have to carry on living near him to suit him when he's the one who's messed everything up.

Our relationship was fine, we got our wedding rings as presents to each other for Xmas. Then he sent an email to an escort on the site Xmas day night! Even now though you wouldn't have a clue he's been doing this, he goes on about how he thinks cheatings disgusting in relationships! Yet his profile on that bloody website says he's single, always horny & doesn't have time to date!

You could get some advice from CAB.

I think moving back north would be a good idea if you'd have support from your mum and friends. If he's happy enough to spend money on webcamming etc, he can find the money to visit his dc.