Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

too messed up !!

10 replies

Annielove · 30/12/2012 15:02

Going to try and keep this short. Met a guy back in the summer 9mths after husband of 23yrs left. Seemed really nice, bit of a distance between us but he had own place so i went there. Out of the blue a month later he ended it by text saying not to contact him again! He said he had lost somebody close to him. I left it and then he contacted me 3wks later saying he missed me and needed to see me.
We met up for a drink and he said his last girlfriend of two yrs had suddenly died and he felt he couldn't date so soon after. He said she had died a month before he met me. Anyway we started meeting up again and had some good times, however he then dropped the bombshell and said she had actually died a month after i started seeing him!!! He had in fact been two timing her. I feel devastated for her and glad she didn't know. He says he feels awful about it but can't change it. So the relationship started on a lie...not good is it ! shall i run for the hills ? i feel after being lied to all my married life i have met someone no better :(

OP posts:
CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts · 30/12/2012 15:12

Yes run. If someone's prepared to lie about something as serious as the death of someone close then you can't really trust a word they say. Really bizarre behaviour to pretend the old girlfriend had died two months after they allegedly did die in order to dump the new girlfriend. For all you know she's still alive and kicking...

For future reference... if someone dumps you again, never go back for seconds. You lose all credibility from that point and they just think they can treat you like shit. Sorry.

Yes, run.

dequoisagitil · 30/12/2012 15:30

Run! Oh yes- you don't need a liar in your life. How do you even know if be is telling the truth now, or just lying again. And about something so heinous.

badinage · 30/12/2012 15:38

Yes, run.

If he did to her, he'll do it to you.

Be glad you found this out now.

Annielove · 30/12/2012 15:57

Thank you , you are all so right! i checked the death notices and she did die a month after we met. All his friends and family are rallying round him feeling sorry for him and of course none of them know he was seeing me !!! God this dating lark is a minefield so hard to know if people are being honest!!

OP posts:
HairyGrotter · 30/12/2012 16:00

Run, run as far and fast as you can

badinage · 30/12/2012 16:02

I think if I ever dated again, I'd do so much homework - especially with internet dating where there are no mutual contacts who can vouch for a person. But as you'd been to his place, I can see why no alarm bells rang. Assume you checked him on FB?

Annielove · 30/12/2012 16:10

yeah i did because he told me too , not much on there. When i looked again later it was deleted. Some people are good at covering their tracks, i suppose he had to tell me incase we bumped into someone he knew and i might have dropped him in it by mistake. Never mind, onwards, just feel a bit used :(

OP posts:
BunnyKelly · 30/12/2012 16:19

This is as extreme as you're ever likely to encounter, so run and put it down to experience, but don't let it colour you're attitude to meeting people in future (beyond the usual sensible precautions).

izzyizin · 30/12/2012 16:25

Another vote for putting on your running shoes and hotfooting it away from this lying bellend.

Let others indulge him in his self pityfest and breathe a sigh of relief that you discovered the truth before you got caught up in his hypocrisy.

If this experience hasn't put you off fishing on t'internet, why not join the online dating thread? They're a friendly bunch who've seen and heard it all before, albeit he'd give some of the tiddlers hopefuls who lie through their teeth put themselves 'out there' a run for their money.

suburbophobe · 30/12/2012 18:58

Oh God Yes... Run!!

What a weirdo!

Be thankful you had a lucky escape, put it down to experience and onwards and upwards for 2013!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page