maybe its just post xmas blues or something - not that our xmas was this massive thing or social blur OH only had Xmas day off, tho his last shift is tonight, finishing 6am tomorrow and he's not back til Thursday.
I cba to do anything, washing up still sitting in the sink, Im still in PJs and 1yo is in bed - I feel lonely and fed up and like I've not very much to look forward to.
OH is awful with money, got paid on 10th and spent everything already and another £100 he borrowed from a payday loan place. He'll get another £30 today off his sister (in theory) and then that's it. I'm refusing to lend him anything - I've had enough of arguing about it -
We had a row about 6 weeks ago just before our boys first birthday and I think everyone expected us to split up- after 2 weeks apart he moved back - hoping to make it work.
I just dont know if he makes me happy feels sick we argue a lot over money, over chores/childcare and to be fair nothing much has changed since he's been back. We were a lot calmer and happier and more accepting of each other for a couple of weeks and now its all back to normal mundane thing.
My sister travelled 300mile round trip to see us yesterday with my niece and she text when they got home and said she could feel the tension between us. :(
Maybe I need to get on with more jobs and get a grip.
I just feel like I've nothing to look forward to,
We've not plans for tomorrow night even tho its the first NYE in 4 years he's been off - we've been invited to a "do" but at £20 a ticket I'm refusing to pay for his ticket - why should I when he has spent all his wages. Ive suggested going to the cinema - but I can imagine 'well I haven't got the money' coming out of his mouth very soon. I still have booze left from Xmas cos I didn't drink what I bought for me out of my money - he has drunk all of his.
goes off to do the dishes (least then I'll feel like I've done something)
thanks for listening sigh