Experiences of Relate

[harryhausen]

My DH and I have had a really bad year. Things weren't amazing before 2012, but not awful. We just trundled along, being tired, having two young kids, both being self employed etc etc.

We've been to Relate once, separately about 6 months ago. Now he's agreed today that we both need to go together. I'm pretty sure we still love each other. Just lots of things have got it the way, and I'm desperately unhappy.

Me and DH feel really sad today. Like something's changed. Like we now know there's lots of problems. I feel very tearful.

After a long rambling post, can I ask for people's experiences of Relate? Did it help? Was it the worst thing you did. DH seems mortified about going properly with me.

Very bad experience

It can be good. My do and I have been, to begin with it was crap but that was because of the specific counsellor (who seemed to have issues with me 'still' breeding a 13mth old. We asked for a different counsellor and she was much better, we both clicked with her and it was helpful, uncomfortable and painful at times but helpful and we are still together.

Not breeding! Breeding!

Bfeeding!

I went with dh when we got back together after splitting up. It was excellent for us, though we are still a work in progress I think. The counsellor was lovely, never seemed to be in it for the money and we felt he genuinely wanted to help us both.

We had some sessions alone (by chance at first, then by choice) and I think that helped.

I may go back in the new year for some more wisdom (though counselling still scares me to be honest, even though the relate guy could not have been kinder!)

Apparently getting the right counsellor for you is so important - if you feel you are not getting anywhere, or just aren't comfortable, you can change easily and there's no bad feelings.