i love his placid nature but this one thing is driving me insane....

[VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry]

dh is lovely. really a nice bloke. he is very understanding and never makes any demands on me at all, i have been off work for the last month after being diagnosed with depression and he has been so kind to me - on xmas day he ordered me back to bed and did xmas dinner single handed....he has been lovely. but he is just too lovely.
his bosses take absolute advantage of him. For 6 years he has had no pay rise and they constantly tell him he is lucky to have a job in this climate - despite this he has worked 7 days a week in the run up to xmas and when ever anyone takes a holiday he works 7 days....his bosses dont have a clue how much he does.

On xmas eve he went to work 3 times during the day to check on things then went in from 10pm to 5am....
he is the key holder and first port of call for any problems.His work colleagues are always phoning him up at all hours of the day and night. He gets up at 2am each morning and goes to work, but i have had calls at 4am on his day off before now.
he is a bakery manager and is very skilled, a master baker, a good manager but he is just far to accommodating. he never complains and when i do he tells me to stop stressing. he just wont stand up for himself at all. his boss has treated him appallingly in the past but he just stands and takes it - he knows they always apologise and they know damn well the place wouldnt run smoothly without DH.

i want him to talk to them about a pay rise. They didnt give him anything extra this xmas except some wine which looks like has been regifted. His bosses put up a notice saying they were not getting any gifts for anyone this year due to a theft of a large amount of money a few weeks ago (was very suss....im a police officer and found it most most strange!!)

anyway - i digress.

i guess i just have to put up with the rough with the smooth but i do so wish he wasnt such a walk over....he deserves a bloody pay rise. he works so many hours and such unsociable hours.

I get sick of saying it....should i just accept that this is his nature and stop nagging him to talk to them? i love him dearly and wouldnt have him any other way really....

I can understand that you are smarting at the sense of injustice. His colleagues sound like they are taking the piss. But do you need the money? (I mean we can all use a pay rise but is there something specific you're having to go without as a family?) It sounds like it's not in his nature to be assertive.

I would focus more on the time lost that should be for his family. And the intrusive calls in his personal time. That he can do something about without having to be directly confrontational or pushy. And it might be enough for his employers to wake up.

I would ask insist that he turns off his phone on his days off.

But for the rest, it goes with his nature, really.

we could certainly use a bit of extra cash for sure, and i think his bosses will just continue to string him along now for a lot longer - after all he has gone 6 years without a rise, and they come up with excuse after excuse while driving 2 brand new cars...

we are having to resort to turning the main land line phone ringer off to stop the ridiculous amount of calls....but they wont dare ring the boss - they just do nothing if they cant get hold of DH!

drives me truly mad.

im struggling at work and im feeling pressure because im the main wage earner.i know realistically that whatever he got wouldnt allow me to jack my job in but it would take the pressure off me a bit, knowing if i left i could seek something without the stress im under. i guess my being ill has brought it to the fore again.

If they do nothing if they can't get hold of your dh, then they don't really need anything and can wait.

After 6 years, he probably is entitled to a raise - but you getting aerated about it isn't going to help. The economy is shite, so they might still choose someone cheaper over your dh, if he put it to the test. No-one is truly indispensable.

I feel your pain. DH doesn't get paid overtime. He worked out with the extra hours he works he didn't even make minimum wage this year so his bonus was just the amount needed to bring him to minimum wage. He is a manager and per hour he is earning less than his juniors but he is told to be grateful for an all year round job with a mostly seasonal company

Well, I think try not to get your issues mixed up. You're in the same position as many of us of being the main or sole breadwinner, and it is stressful. But that's how it goes.

If they do nothing if they can't reach DH and then he's having to sort out some mess when he gets in the next day, I don't think that is being a good manager, to put it bluntly. (Assuming said staff work for him? If they don't - bugger 'em, leave them to sort it out with their manager).

Are there any prospects of his work elsewhere in your vicinity? If not, his bosses are essentially playing the odds and, like a lot of skilled craftsmen, it's hard for him to capitalise on his talents more unless he opens his own business. Which would be even more stressful!