The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

[ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine]

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name )

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry!

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo.............

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course ) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need.

well I've been drinking quite a bit over the last few days (although less than the usual Christmas binges) but tonight I didn't fancy anything - even though there is wine in the house.

I can only think this is due to changing habits and the influence of the Bus. usually I would have drunk it whether I wanted to or not. however I've had quite a lot of chocolate and cheese instead...

soma did you figure out what was wrong with Alfie? some dogs can also get into silly habits when they're bored. have his walks been restricted because of the weather?

Thanks for the dog advice ladies. I did Frontline him a few days ago (use it once a month) and have never had trouble before. But I just gave him a bath and found lots of black things in the water which I reckon might be fleas. Bugger. Never mind, the good news I haven't had a drink today! Night night all x

alias I'm the same, didn't have a drink last night & feel it's the influence of the bus helping me to change habits. Normally would have had a few because it's a) it's Christmas b) I'm on holiday and c) it's Saturday night. So glad I didn't and was nice to be able to go pick my daughter up. Also to wake up now with toddler & not have headache!

well done ladies on the not drinking yesterday - wish I could say the same.
Think I have hotwired myself to quitting on Jan 1st so am not even trying these last few days.
this pissing weather is getting on my tits though - cabin fever setting in big time.....

A tip I picked up about fleas (not sure where, might have been here even). Anyway, put a shallow bowl of water on the floor, under a light if possible because it attracts fleas (the light, not the bowl). Leave it for a day or two and then check the bowl for fleas. They jump in and then can't get out, so it's a good flea trap. It won't get rid of them all but will let you know if you've got any.

Ma the weather is sending dh stir crazy too. Think he will be more that happy to get back to work on Wednesday.

Hello ladies

Namechanger here. Not the first time I've been on here, but the first time for a while.

I want to stop drinking. I can drink in a reasonable, moderate way. But it requires a lot of self discipline and I'm much more likely to 'give in' and get plastered. If I don't start drinking I'm OK but as soon as I have one I don't want to stop. I have blackouts sometimes, and feel suicidal with hangovers, it is torture.

If I don't drink I have more energy and am so much happier.

My dc are pre-teens, I've separated this year and I don't want to fuck up my life or theirs. I've just been reading that thread for adult children of alcoholic parents and it's so sad.

I think I need to stop completely but I don't want to call myself an alcoholic or go to AA. I just can't get into the stuff about God that it involves. I don't believe in a higher power.

I abstained for a couple of months earlier this year, just having one drink at a time occasionally but it's crept back up.

I worry people will thinking I'm boring if I don't drink. I get social anxiety and there is a lot of pressure to have a drink. But I mostly drink at home on my own - bottle of wine in the evenings.

I'm feeling very lonely when my dc are with their dad. I want to go out and get a social life but that seems to always involve drinking. I wish I could meet some others in my position.

Sorry for the long post; I hope you don't mind if I get on the bus today.

Hi Booze Welcome aboard. No judgey pants here, don't worry. My doctor told me that there is not point in assigning yourself a 'label'. You don't have to call yourself and alcoholic. You don't have to go to AA - it's not for everyone but seems to suit some. You do, by the sound of it, need to question your relationship with alcohol. If it's worrying you - then it's worrying.

Try not to worry about other drinkers thinking your are boring. TBH most of the time they won't notice (they'll be too pissed). If it's a problem, ask for a non-alcholic drink first because you are thirsty or on antibiotics etc. It's much easier not to do 'rounds' - that way you can buy a whiskey and coke - without the whiskey, a G & T without the G and so on. Nobody really asks, trust me.

I'm the same as you and feel very lonely when my DC are with their Dad every other weekend. My downfall is not going out but drinking by myself at home, in secret, like some awful, dirty secret. Stay on the thread and keep posting - we are all in your 'position', to varying degrees.

Sending a big hug. x

Don't worry Ma, 1st Jan is only the day after tomorrow. Faire will try the bowl of water, thanks. Think he might have tics actually and he has red patches from the irritation so taking him to the vet tomorrow. Pissed off that I spend a fortune on Frontline and it doesn't work.

It's really good to hear from you Hating, your relationship with booze is so similar to my own. I know about feeling lonely too as I'm divorced and DD is out a lot but I've tried to find a way of socialising that doesn't involve booze. OK maybe it's only meeting a friend for a coffee once a fortnight but it's better than getting plastered in the pub. I did find however that it was only when I admitted that I was an alcoholic that I could really start doing something about it but that's only me. And for me alcoholism means I'm often compelled to drink and can't always stop drinking once I've started (although I can sometimes). It's as simple as that. I don't have a problem saying I'm an alcoholic anymore, in a way it's a relief.

Anyway, please stick around, we're all different and are all trying to achieve sobriety/controlled drinking in various ways. And of course there are the inspirational babes who are always here to help those who are trying to get to where they are. I hope you know who you are :)

I've been mulling this over for a while now, so here goes.

The 2 most important things in my life are my family and my sobriety. Neither of which benefit from my being on this thread- my family as I MN rather than interact with them and my sobriety because I am bored and angry with 'I drink too much/ I need to stop/ I'm trying moderating/ this isn't working/ I'm suicidal/ AA's too God for me'.

Bubble baths and mutual support and great, maybe it's all some of you need. Controlled drinking rarely works, I can't think of anyone who's gone from problem to controlled drinking.

Dependant drinking/ Alcoholism/ having no stop button is serious. It's the most important thing in your life if you post on this thread. You may not think it, but the fact that you're here and posting suggests that it's affecting your relationships and health. Nothing else really matters, does it?

So it would be nice to sign up with a cheery good luck, whatever you choose, hope I haven't upset anyone! But that's not the truth. I hope you do feel upset enough to take this seriously.

Stop chatting and stop drinking.

Thanks so much Purple. My kids are with their dad a lot more than every other weekend. I'm really struggling with accepting being a part time parent - permanently.

I drink at home mostly too. I actually fear going out because I know how it will end - me drunk, and terrible suicidal hangover and memory blanks the next day. I even feel drained with 'mild' hangovers.

I have hidden empty wine bottles in the kitchen cupboards so I can dispose of them discreetly later and jumped out of bed in the morning to remove an empty bottle and a wine-stained glass from the sitting room before the dc see it.

Do you drink when you have your kids or only when they are away?

I've always had a problem with drink. My dad has stopped drinking now (high blood pressure) but is an alcoholic. He didn't go to the pub but sat and pickled himself every night (strong cider and later,red wine). My mum hated it. He'd fall asleep in his chair and crawl up to bed in the small hours every night :(

I think, sometimes Help, people need something that isn't a sledge hammer and isn't a pat on the head. For me, this thread has provided a means of anonymously, honestly and safely talking though how I feel - something that's been very difficult for me in the past. I'm not OK, yet, but I'm better and I'm working my way towards being even better. For me the doctor and the alchol services have let me down in the past but, on here, someone is always listening. I can't do AA. I've tried but the 'higher-power' stuff isn't for me. I think it's about (pathetic - sometimes) me and the energy I can put in.

It is a serious subject but everyone needs to try and get to their goal in the way they can cope with. Some will sidle up to the problem and take a while to figure out what it is they need to achieve what they are comfortable with and some need to be signed into re-hab - and there are thousands of people in varying stages in between,

Wishing you well, Help and good luck with everything. And, by the way, I think you will have upset some people. Take care Sweepea. xxxxx

I liked your post helpyourself. But I don't want to chat as such. I want to tell someone about my problem drinking because I've got no one I am prepared to talk to about it in real life. And it's a guilty secret I need to tell someone. I already feel relieved that I posted here.

help you're not the first person to make that observation on this thread and, of course, it makes complete sense to you because that's where you are at the moment. But there are lots of others who feel differently and are having different experiences.

Yes, we all have a lot in common and can understand each other and the difficulties we face but we are also all so very different and what works for one, understandably might not work for another.

We take all the approaches and usually agree that one is not necessarily better than another. For some of us we just need to get through the day and, in that case, bubble baths and chit chat are absolute life savers.

Btw, you do know at least one person that's gone from problem to controlled because that's me. In the past I have mentioned that perhaps my time on the bus has run its course because I don't think I need it for my own sobriety anymore. I tend to hang out here because I enjoy the company and the continuing support

I think AA is a great idea in principle, but I absolutely fucking hate the God bit of it and I know it couldn't work for me.

Not making excuses not to go. I feel really sad that there isn't a place where you can go to meetings to stop drinking completely, be surrounded by other people in the same boat, get and give support.

But whenever I look at the twelve steps I cringe and just think 'no way'. I'd have to pretend to buy in and that wouldn't work would it?

I happy for (and envious of) people who it works for.

How did you do it Fairenuff? Sorry if it's already well documented, but I'm a newcomer.

Booze I'm ashamed to say, yes, I do drink when they are here. I have them about 90% of the time - an ALL the holidays as ExP is too busy working to do anything with them.

Oh, and you are not the only one who has hidden (empty and full) wine bottles round the house and felt the shame the next day. CONFESSION ALERT I've even told my children that the wine I've bough is non-alcoholic. Deep, deep shame.

If you read back a bit you'll see that I have rather a lot of alcoholic relatives - not an excuse but maybe it explains things a bit. Just means we need to dig deeper and try harder.

Stay on here - we don't judge (ignore recent posts) and someone will always be there to listen/help/slap you with a wet fish!

xxxx

Hi hatingbooze welcome to the bus

It took me a long time and a few false starts but I just slowly changed my drinking habits by following all the fab advice on this thread. I don't think I am/was addicted to booze but I had started to drink too much too often and it had crept up to an amount I wasn't happy with.

I started cutting back and used all the new strategies I was learning here to avoid that first drink. After a while, I began to make new habits and it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.

At first I couldn't stop. I was compelled to buy wine and drink it. I thought I was addicted and that I would always be like that. After a few sober days the fog started to lift and I realised how much better life without being drunk and/or hungover was.

But I don't have any other issues to deal with. For me, I think it was just habit and now I've broken it and am in control. Who knows, maybe that will prove to be wrong and I might one day have to stop drinking altogether. All I know is that, if that happens, fine. The idea doesn't scare me anymore.

Happy, sunny Sunday Faire and Koti! x

welcome booze - you will find more here than bubble baths and chatting
You will find tips and techniques, sharing of experiences, honesty, laughter, friendship, support, support and more support. And you WILL begin to deal with your relationship with alcohol. It might be a quick turnaround, it maight take years - and I speak as someone who has been riding this here bus and sidecar for about two years, but who is about to attempt dry January in two days time because now I feel ready to do it.
You will meet truly inspirational women who will enrich your life in a myriad of ways and nobody, but nobody, wears judgy pants. I think purple is wearing big girls pants at the moment though.
REad the earlier threads inspired by the fabulous jesus, meet our resident wise woman venus (are you ok btw?), be nurtured by the truly wonderful mouse, ride the roofrack with faire, avoid sex with me and thurso (OMG that just sounded so WRONG!) and seek out the elusive indie who WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM IN AGES.
Oh and there are so many more babes I havent name checked - soba silver Obrigada green alias (she has fleas) kotinka koala (now there's a woman who took on a challenge!)
Come and join these fabulous Babes and you will find so much more than chat!

Hey Mouse, are you a-lurkin'!? Ma Big pants? That's good, right!? xx

Your way or the highway is it again help?
I feel this a bit too, tbh. If it upsets you when people don't take your advice, why give it? It's the nature of people not to take advice, unfortunately! If this thread is upsetting you or affecting your life negatively in any way, then you sound like a very strong and determined person... step away and nuture the things that are vital to you.

Soma my first thought was allergies, and that maybe flea/tick bites have set up a cycle of irritation? Were they identifiably fleas in the water? We use Advocate rather than frontline, because it protects against the awful lungworm.

Ma I am joining your January bootcamp. I don't usually make NY's resolutions but this year I'm going to make some changes. I'm going to namechange again, figure out my game plan and post my weight etc.

I know that there are only a few people on the thread that remember me/recognise me from when I was posting a lot back in the spring. I over shared a lot of personal (and sometimes traumatic) stuff, and then got a bit concerned about being so identifiable, after someone I knew in a professional capacity mentioned that they use MN. Anyway I've always been lurking and posting occasionally ever since, and I'm going to climb back on for a while. I've noticed lately how bloated and tired I look. My drinking has crept up again, especially over xmas, obviously. I accepted that I'd be a size 14 instead of 12, but now my 14 trousers are getting tight! At 4pm on boxing day, when DD was driving me nuts, I said, within her earshot "god I need a drink!". It's not the message I want her to absorb.

So, I'm in the sidecar as usual for the next few days, but then I'll be cutting down drastically (sorry help! ) for the next few months.

Back later Babes.

fleas?! me?

well I've found the Bus so supportive and helpful, full of advice and tips like ODAAT and HALT

apart from anything just coming on here makes me stop and think every day, I am always on the alert...