The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

[ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine]

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name )

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry!

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo.............

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course ) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need.

Jango -welcome.

Nope, you don't have to 'sit there whilst he guzzles it down'.

Go have a candle lit bath. Go to do something. Ignore him and get a soft drink............. Ignore the booze. Even though you want to drink. Could you just try?

Or, join him. It's up to you. No-one is saying that you have to stop drinking tonight and you came here because you wanted to stop the cycle sweetheart, but there's no quick fix to this.

He can't make you do anything. I get a very un-nerving feeling about your relationship with him and that's only from a few posts....

Are you okay?

Talk to us. xx

Poor you, Jango. Can you disappear and have a bath or read/watch TV in your bedroom?

x post Mouse! x

Thinking of you Jango is there somewhere you can go to be away from dp, or just put a film on & ignore him and keep checking in? ((( )))

Hi,

Phew- had big,big,big wine cravings here but I coped (badly and only just) but i have. I'm ok now. Usually I cave in. Off to tuck ds up in bed without breathing wine fumes all over him.

sometimes he asks what I'm drinking and I hide the glass behind my back.Trying hard to be a better mum but the wine cravings are hard.

Well actually the ww can fuck right off now. Anyone want me to give her a kick?
purple the botanics are gorgeous- enjoy.

Hi all,
Hello makeme Welcome to the bus .
I've been a bit of an intermittent poster of late, for various reasons, but had a very bloody day today, and have given myself some time!!!

I'm still trying to digest the loads of cp that my tutor related about my course today!
Think I am in a fraudulent and malpractice situation, bdy hell 2 and a half years work seems like going down the drain!
Aaaaaargh!!!

Ma you wonder, send over some of what you're on!!!
Mrsmousie love, as always.

Can I come back more often next week?
Xxxxxxxxxxxx

What's happened thurso?

P.s DH still being a bit of a bugger (not literally tho, Ma!!)
I wish I was on a desert island!!
Oh well, on to read my book, anyone read "the slap", I saw the series, but the book is very different!
Xxx

I have my dh sitting here drinking his real ales from xmas, but have just been swimming and feel good so am going to go upstairs with Smudgie and read my kindle (again). It's annoying when they do that I know but they'll feel rubbish tomorrow not us - hopefully.

Clutter - great post from the lovely venus!! I'd forgotten the strengths and weaknesses bit as I always hated being asked that one!

Soma - I do think that you should try to unravel the real reason. But I also think that she's still bruised after the fighting which is really bloody hard on you to hear sweets, , but it happened. She has to process that. Two people who she loves and who love her unconditionally, are no longer together.

Life as she knew it became no more one day, then the fall out and the moving on/moving in.... she's tough, she's got you written all over her which is a huge credit to you darling but also she has seen what drinking does to you and is most likely scared that her father separating from his partner/wife means more fights between the two of you which in turn = more drinking and drunk mum.

She's seen her DF with another woman, part of another family too which is hard. My DD is the same. Her sperm donor has put his new family before her for a number of years.... she doesn't give a shite. He's a twat and she accepts that.

All you can do is reassure her that you are not that person anymore. YOU ARE NOT!! You have to keep the communication lines open and talk. Talk about anything. Everything. Talk. You know her, you know that when she's quiet, she's upset. She could be my DD in lots of ways.......

My DD witnessed my abuse first hand. The hitting, the screaming, the throwing me out in the night with nothing more than knickers on. She was stood at the foot of the stairs.

It's taken her YEARS to trust DH even a tiny amount. We've been together almost 8 years. She'll never fully trust that he won't hurt me. And that breaks my heart because I put her in that position with my XP.

Just keep things light and open. Movie? Girls night in and maybe a film based around family? I don't know. I'm not really one for relationship advice but I want you to know that I'm here for you if you want to talk about DD, given that they are similar in age.

Big mwahs xxxxx

gugg I had a meeting with my tutor today, and she has had sanctions imposed on her by the awarding body. Basically means that her practice is unsafe!
Thank goodness I sat in on it with another Head, who can confirm what she said!
I am very lucky in that my job doesn't depend on getting this qualification at a certain time, but others do!, so am very p*ed.
Tutor has suggested fraudulent practice, in the form of falsifying documents! What!!!!!
Sorry for being me, me, but you are saving me tonight.
Xxxxxxxx

Gugg - we can all relate to that. Don;t beat yourself up, it;s early days and you will get there of you want to my lovely....... big hugs xx

Thurso!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mwah and squidge in that order. Sorry life is a bit shite right now xxx

Holly - great mindset! I'm loving it! xx

Right, I'm outta here for the night. Dinner is ready, Nemo is ready for bed and DD has a friend over. It's movie night too.

Stay strong Brave Babes, lots of love to you all. Keep going, a tiny moment at a tiny time.

YOU CAN DO THIS, if you want to xxx

Night all. xx

P*ed off. Not actually p**ssed!!!!!
That's why I came here!!!!

stronger welcome. The bus is very busy right now so don't worry if you don't get name checked. This is a good place to be.
So many people to respond to - hang in there those of you fighting the witch tonight.
I am knackered tonight so treating myself to a glass of wine.......no, not really. Having a Cobra alcohol free beer to celebrate the end of day 5.

Thurso wtf with the tutor? That all sounds well dodgy. Hope you can sort it out after all your hard work.
Give DH a knee in the nuts.

Ma don't do that to me, I thought you'd left me alone in the mist!
mouse enjoy your movie.
thurso that sounds like a nightmare - do you have to wait now for a replacement tutor (sorry I don't know what course you are doing!)

Would only encourage him Ma

I wouldn't do that green
Do you think the mist will clear a little soon and the road will start to level off?
Thurso I feel your pain. I am very lucky in that its time of the month so I can stretch that out for a good week! (God knows what the newbies are making of this conversation)

Hi I'm on the vimto tonight. Why does life decide to become evermore stressful when I decide to ban the booze lol

Mouse your DD has a wonderful, compassionate, intelligent mum who had a shite time (I can't bear to think of you being thrown outside in your underwear :() and I hear everything you say. My DD is a complex child and questions everything but has, I believe, a good head on her shoulders. As you say, keeping communication open is very important.

Purple, we're probably all a bit loony and I for one feel a little flawed but by god we're full of life and passion AND compassion. Let's just try and smile when we remember some of the things we've done when drinking and not be too hard on ourselves. The only thing that matters now is that we've woken up and aren't afraid to face up to what our lives might become if we don't get a grip.

Still not drinking - still have my sights set on a sober Jan.
Sickness in the house. I've had a strong day but I think I'm coming down with it now.
We'll be ok though. I can't believe how much energy and mental strength is available to me when I am not hungover. I totally relate to the mindset of everything seeming unbearably arduous and boring unless you are drunk. but I also think that if you are hungover then that is partly why it is so difficult and so hard to do without a drink.
But the "boring" part is important too. i am pretty sure boredom has a lot to do with over drinking. So much is so so so so so dull. I feel physically ill sometimes that there is ALWAYS more laundry to do; always some drying somewhere needing to be put away; NEVER do you get a day without LAUNDRY squatting on it. Like Larkin's toad.

Must think about ways to bring interest into life over the next few weeks as the novelty of sobriety wears off.
My big girl is so grown up. She helped me put away the Christmas decorations today and she was actually a real help. I love love love her.

Good night everyone, I've found this board really helpful- just reading everyone's encouragement for each other is so motivating. There's a few phrases to learn tho- wine witch?!

I know I'm going on a bit - but have put a couple of snaps of Smudge the Podge on my profile he's getting a bit twitchy at the moment - think it's because it's night time :( he can't settle and is miawing a bit...

Mouse That's shocking! So glad you had the courage to get out of it. You are such a loving, giving person that I'm totally sure, with your help, she'll be fine. Sending you a hug for your past pain.

Soma I have to say that whilst I'm pretty ashamed of lots of stupid things I've done whilst on the wine, there are the occasional things that have made me laugh.

Had my delicious stir fry, am going to treat myself to another relaxing bath before an early night. Since the corner shop is shut and I won't be going out (now that I have my PJ's on ) I have beaten the wine witch for today. Feeling much better, just a little tired.

So looking forward to seeing my DC tomorrow now and I'm really pleased to get an unexpected extra day with them. Have plotted the journey for tomorrows visit. I'll use the Park And Ride. The DC will love that! They're always asking if we can go on the bus! (We never do) Funny lot.

Going to log off now and go and have a soak. Good night and love and strength to everyone and thanks, again. xxx

You too! And me too wolfe
Xxx