The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year? So, Let's Go Up A Gear!

[ChristMouseTimeMistletoeNoWine]

Hello, tis me, Mouse (normally Mouseface but I'm wearing my festive name )

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, to a place of solace, support and sanctuary, if that's what you seek of course. It's also a Bus full of bloomin' chatterboxes, waffling on about life, love and all things from school reports to laundry!

The journey into 2013 is going to be an ass kicking one as we're moving up a gear to give the WineWitch a bloody good slapping, and the BoozeBeast a kick in the bollo.............

Some of us drink in moderation, some of us drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes. The support on this Bus has kept me from ruining my life time and time again. The experiences of others shared here has helped me to change the way I see alcohol, the way I see what it does to me.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

Everyone is welcome here so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hi. Post as much or as little as you like!

So, come say hi, grab a seat, an eggnog (non alcoholic of course ) and a mince pie, or chocolate chip cookie, and meet some lovely, genuine people who are just like YOU.

Also, HERE IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD with a link in the OP to the first ever thread, and the reason why after more than two and a half years, this thread is still here, supporting those in need.

Happy and Health New Year everyone, great post Faire! I am eternally grateful for my Land of Sobriety!

Sober is the New Black, and the movement of women that I am involved with in real life are gaining ground now, it's been incredibly hard changing attitudes and rebranding recovery into something to celebrate and not be judged by, but we are getting there. So the hard work of the last two odd years is at last paying off.

Good luck brave ladies, having the tools to beat the bugger is the first step, this thread is one amazing tool.

Oooh ma that's a fab name, I'm going to have a think about maybe changing mine too. Hot damn, you're motivating everyone at the moment - go girl

< waves pom poms >

Welcome back Holly did I 'know' you under your old guise?

Green those awful hangovers were probably the biggest motivation for me. I hated them so much and am so relieved that I never, ever have to do that to myself again. Have a (((hug))) and some paracetamol x

Lovely to hear from you Sarah

Thank you Faire, I am going through everyone of the emotions you describe. Don't want to bring the thread down when there is such a positive vibe today but will post more later about how I feel today to remind myself over the coming weeks

I can't remember who I was to be honest Anyway, I need to do this. I get so stupid when i drink - and just can't stop. One of those idiots who can 'not drink' but can't not drink when I've started. I know you'll get that!

Post away green. The good news is that tomorrow is another day. This time next week you could be feeling entirely differently. The choice is yours. Sounds simple doesn't it.

It took me a while to realise that this was something I had to do for myself, if I wanted it. I couldn't persuade someone else do it for me, or pay someone. If I wanted things to change for me, I was the only person who could do it. That scared the hell out of me at first. I actually didn't think I could!

But we are all alone when we are born and we leave this world alone too. It's another journey that has to be taken alone and there is no other choice. I've done it already, in a funny kind of way and I'm doing ok. Does that make any sense at all. I don't know what works for others but, for me, I had to let go of the fear.

I want to be sober and well without the work . Snot fair!! Actually, I am looking forward it - I remember how well i felt last time and with (hopefully) having finally conquered the cigarettes, I have nothing to lose. My vital stats are: 5 ft 6, weigh 9 st 10 BMi 21.6 (according to gym scales!) don't want to lose vast amounts, but I do want to get rid of my cider tummy

Hello Babes

I used to post on this thread a while back but haven't in a long while now for various reasons. I thought I'd pop in seeing as how it's NY and there may be a few newbies lurking and posting (hi Greeneyed). I'm pretty sure that there are many more people reading this thread than are posting on it.

I spent 18 months going to AA. It didn't work for me and it didn't keep me sober but I learned a huge amount from it which I can continue to use in my daily life and it certainly wasn't a waste of time. I think if anyone is thinking of it then there's absolutely no harm in giving it a go, it works for hundreds of thousands of people worldwide, but go with an open mind and be wary, use the same kinds of personal safety caveats as you would with any other area of your life - that's just common sense but I saw several newcomers fall foul of being too trusting and giving too much of themselves. I'm really not wanting to put anyone off going because whatever works, works!

I'm doing SMART now. It suits me better, it makes sense to me in a way that AA didn't and doesn't sit at odds with my somewhat scientific and atheistic way of thinking.

Hmmm, why am I posting? I think there is a lot of talk online whenever someone posts about struggling with alcohol that they should go to AA. Often for someone initially coming to terms with the fact they have a problem with alcohol they feel that AA is the only solution, I just wanted to put it out there that it isn't the only solution and that there are alternatives.

Happy New Year and good luck to you all x

Hi 2013 - I did AA for a while too - it sort of worked for me but then I felt 'smothered' and the cultish elements ( to my mind anyway - I know lots of people don't see it that way) crept in and I was being told all sorts of thing which made me very uncomfortable..I wish we had SMART groups in this country as I think they are really good. However, when I did my year I did it all alone with no outside help. Hoping I can do that this time - and I would love to stay with all you lot too

Shame - dancing with men half my age, dancing on the pool table, being a drunken lush in the pub

Guilt - taking ridiculous risks with my health when I have a child who needs me. Not being a good mum today

Regret - ashamed of behaviour in small village, people will be talking about me

Fear, anxiety paranoia - as above, plus worried that I have alcohol poisoning and any variety of alcohol related illnesses.

Depression- feeling wretched with all above emotions and physically wrecked.

That's just for starters - not fun this drinking lark!

Well, not yet found the gumption to bag a seat on the Bus still. Not doing as badly as before though. Didn't go out last night (but did have a lot some Cava at home - by myself ) so don't have to sit here wondering how much of a tit I made of myself last night - and awaiting the comments. I often think that The Other People (those for whom drinking is not a problem) laugh off comments such as "You were soooo drunk last night", "Don't you remember doing .........?", "How's your head this morning?!" and the ever awful "Yes, I know, you told me last night! Don't you remember!?" etc whereas I feel very very defensive and angry at them because I feel so guilty about my behaviour.

Am looking forward to the children getting back to school so as there is routine back in my life and I can get back to the gym. That's my realistic goal - anything I can do in the meantime is going to be a bonus.

Unfortunately, I think the Tasty Farmer is just not that into me . He has been in touch everyday over the festivities but...... He's had 'flu over Christmas (and his family over) so I understand him not being able to see me on the couple of days I had free but yesterday I made a light suggestion at meeting up for a drink tonight. He got back to me with "I'm not sure what I'll be doing until the morning"! Hmmmm. I'm not anyone's back up plan! - plus I haven't heard from him at all today. Even if he does get in touch now I think I will have a fictitious party to go too. Shame really. .

Sorry to hear about all the Babes who are struggling and a big cheer for those who've managed to moderate. Hugs all round! xxxxxx

to*

Sifts!!?? Shifts*! (Unless I was making cakes in the side-car, that its!! )

purple will save you a seat for when you are ready to hop on. Think you are being great about the farmer - yes you are worth far more than being someone's back up plan. Sorry it hasn't worked out. kot yes I want to get it all down as the feelings fade and I need to remind myself! I'm going to try and eat something

Thanks Koti, [grins]

I know he said he was 'laid back' but it appears he's horizontal! To be fair, I only have a limited number of days/evenings off and he doesn't really know what they are which is why I mentioned it to him but still.

Quality Street wrapper pile building well!!! xx

Greeneyed - hope tomorrow is a better day. That remorse/paranoia is just dreadful - been there too many times.

Purple - sounds like the farmer's blowing hot and cold. Do you think he has someone else and that's why he's so unreliable?

I had good night last night - drank but didn't get pissed.

I had a bad alcoholic moment last week. I was embarrassed about the number of empty bottles in my recycling box. I didn't want dh to take them to the bottle bank because I knew he would be shocked at how many there were. So, whilst he was out, I snuck out and dumped them all in a bin down the street. When he returned, I lied (very unconvincingly) that a friend had taken them to the bottle bank for me. Unfortunately for me, dh found them. He didn't really say anything, but I could tell he was disappointed.

Oh, the shame this addiction brings us :(

I looked at SMART too and thought it looked great but all the meeting places are too far away for me.

Don't think so Grey I'm wondering if he's not ready to get into a relationship yet? Who know?! Men! Can't live with 'em, not allowed to shoot 'em!

As for the shame thing Grey, yup, been there, done that. My worst time (soz to all who've been bored with this already!) was when ExP and I had to move house. I'd hidden bottle in places round the house and totally alcohol memory loss forgotten where I'd put them. ExP didn't say anything either - not sure if that's worse or better? xxxx

welcome holly and 2013

ma I LOVE your new name! I've had another power-walk with the dog (he's exhausted) but I just feel shattered instead of energized. not sleeping well again. maybe this is something to do with the mulled wine we had last night?

This is hell - 3pm and getting worse not better - think I will vomit. Posting to remind babes how you don't want to feel. I hate myself

Hi all, and happy new year. I've been reading this thread for a while and think I am at a stage where I need to hop on the bus. Had a great christmas and new year, drank a lot but not ridiculously but that's because I ended up in A&E after my work christmas do after falling out of the pub, literally, and bounced my head off the pavement. Husband and step dad had to come and get me and I have spent Christmas with a monstrous black eye.

I can drink socially, sometimes. Other times I just DRINK. I don't know why I do it and I don't know its happening until I wake up the next morning with the guilt / shame / embarrasment. For this reason I am giving up going out for a while, its easier to just abstain and not put myself in that situation.

My father died of alcoholism. I don't want to end up like that. I have 16month twins and I don't want them to go through what I did with him.

This is the first time I've admitted anything to anyone so its probably waffle but I needed to get it out.

You are an inspiring bunch of babes!

Green Sending lots of glasses of water, some paracetamol, vitamin tablets, some milk chocolate, some antacids, some complex carbohydrates (seeded bread from Sainsburys), some cozy warm pj's, an eye mask, a snuggly hot water bottle, a warm restorative bath (candles and everything!), a huge king sized bed with loverrrly clean linen and an enormous hug! Feel better soon Hun. xxxxxxx