He hates being challenged

[Annteeta]

If I disagree with my BF on the slightest thing he gets irritated and pulls a face. Its not as if I nag him - here's the latest: me: can you do me a favour and plug in those new rechargable batteries? him: will they not already be charged? me: I doubt it if they are new, I don't think rechargeable ones are him: pulls a face because I have disagreed with him. He then refuses to discuss whatever the issue is and sulks because I have tried to initiate a conversation about his feelings. Its not as if I have taken him to task about something controversial. I'm being as reasonable as I can with him but he can be a communiction nightmare when it comes to getting to grips with what he is really thinking. Is there an effective way to deal with this over-sensitivity about having a different point of view?

God, how juvenile of him

I had an ex who hated it when I disagreed with him about anything, he thought I was being deliberately contrary to wind him up (because his ego was at the centre of the universe, not because I had my own mind and opinions). I made the mistake of letting it slide and trying to keep the peace. One day we were in a car and he screamed and swore at another driver who didn't thank him when he let them pass. Instead of calling him up on it, I stayed silent because I didn't want him to get cross with me. Ironically, he told me his ex girlfriend bored him because she was too agreeable, gee, wonder why.

Bottom line, your BF doesn't sound all that nice. How long have you been together?

Don't know, but if he's going to be high maintenance, don't promote him to a dh for goodness sake. Be glad he's "just" a bf.

That's a big warning sign right there...

... yeah he thinks I disagree on purpose - is like some kind of paranoia over the slightest thing. We've been together 3 years - he hates confrontation but might be described as passive aggressive - sulking rather than expressing thought verbally. Its very difficult to make any progress when the other person will not discuss or attempt to explain...

Oh dear. You can't really have a relationship with yourself and drag him along in the hope that he will start to communicate better. And aahh, passive aggression, my ex was an expert on this, but would project and accuse me of being passive aggressive.

He thinks you disagree on purpose?

That is NOT healthy.

Nice. I hope you aren't signing up for a lifetime of this.

sulkers don't change.

One of the advantages of going out with someone is you can out whether they are the type of person you want to spend your life with.

Think about this man. Is he really what you want?

Why waste your time even putting up with his childish sulks?
He's not going to change so If I were you I'd be kicking him to the kerb.

3 years of 'over-sensitivity' or him having to be right about everything and not liking it if you have an opinion of your own? I hope you haven't got kids together.

It shouldn't be for you to work out ways of dealing with his unreasonable sulkiness, but for him to get his head out of his arse.

as above - lifes to short to be looking at a cats arse mouth half the time

And is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life - really?

Want to give birth to children who learn how to be petty sulkers who can't communicate like reasonable people?

Want to get to the point where you don't recognise the person you've become in your efforts not to upset Mr. Ego all day, every day?

Dump him. Three years is NOT LONG - I've had two relationships longer than that that didn't work out and I'm glad they didn't, and glad that I had the sense to knock them in the head, say thanks but no thanks, and have my children with my lovely DH.

Another one for the chazzer?

You fancy this long term do you ?

How fucking grim

Your question is, "Is there an effective way to deal with this over-sensitivity about having a different point of view?"

My answer: "Probably but do you actually have the time or the inclincation to try and find it??

Nkf, I think the 'probably' answer is subsuming your own personality and tugging your forelock when he speaks. Which I wouldn't recommend.

Most probably not for the last time in what remains of 2012, I have no hesitation in advising you to dump the fucker and I'm amazed you didn't do so in 2009.

3 years of purgatory with a sulky immature twat? That has to be 2 years and 364 days too long for any self-respecting woman to endure. Where's your self-respect hidden itself?

He sounds like too much hard work - relationships should add to your life, not stress you out.

What gives him (and you accept) the right to treat you like this anyway?

How are you going to be able to sort out the big disagreements, then?

I'd say, bin him.

Was he constantly criticised when he was growing up.

deste...who gives a fucking shit, seriously ?

I was constantly criticised and devalued when I was growing up...I don't treat my partner like this

When you've had it, the correct choice is to stop the vicious circle

Walk away OP. Life is too fecking short to spend it pandering to the ego of a man child who cannot be disagreed with cos he will sulk for days on end. Imagine how it would be if you had DC. Sulking cos you gave them more attention than him, sulking cos he had to get up/was woken in the night, sulking cos you disagreed with him for something trivial.

Bin him off. You'll feel so much better, I promise you.

Best way to deal with it is to leave it and him alone forevermore. This is a big red flag and I bet if we were to question you a bit more closely there would be a load more.

If you can't communicate properly after 3 years together, you're not going to, so forget it.

I was constantly criticised while growing up, I dealt with those issues by doing just that