SOMEBODY give me strength....

[Twiggy71]

Back story I have a toxic sister I recently fell out with her over Facebook this is the second time we have fell out on it. The first time I had clicked on a joke and put it on my wall and supposedly I was getting at her???

Now after this second argument she threatened to not come to my parents on xmas day (the whole family usually meet at my dp at xmas) .

Obviously they didn't need this rubbish being brought to their door as it was between us.

Usually i go to my ds for boxing day as (a lone parent my two dc have their xmas with their d today).

This year i have not been invited and to make matters worse she decided this year she didn't have much money so would be giving less to my two dc.

She didn't happen to tell me this though and i bought the usual and when handing my dc their presents told them they never got much this year because she has heating oil to pay at the end of the month???

As a single parent I have less money than her but it was ok for me to end up paying twice on presents than she did..

I know this might all sound very very petty but I think she has stooped too low by trying to exclude me from xmas....

Please someone talk to me as I feel so much hate for her today and I am only hurting myself and she is a smug cow!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't understand some of that. Where was it you were meant to be going that she stopped you going to?

oh sorry i was so mad writing that we usually have a twenty year routine of my dpparents doing xmas day my dsis boxing day and myself new years eve.

And she threatened to not come on xmas day to my parents cos she was pissed off with me.
Hope that makes more sense...

Think it is not important what each of your spent on the kids. How did xmas day go with your both at your parents? Do you want to go to hers today?

I haven't been invited to hers this year do she has excluded me.

Oh you know what, let her do whatever she wants! I assume she did (grudgingly) go in the end?

It sounds as though she was threatening not to go in the hope you would beg her to go. I'm sure she had no intention of depriving herself of a family Christmas. She'd have a far better time going but giving you hell than she would staying at home and thinking about you having fun with the family.

As for today, put your pyjamas on and eat chocolate and watch tv. Happiness is the best revenge, you know. You're better off not being with her if she's in a mood like that. Think of that anger and misery eating her up and sit back and enjoy yourself.

What will you do about new year?

The way to look at presents is this. She's always going to be trouble, isn't she? Only get what you can afford and tell her early enough so that she can't blame you on the day. If she's not happy with it, don't go near her until she's calmed down.

Is it possible for you to reduce contact with her? She does sound horrible!

Feel I will have to reduce contact with her as she is driving me crazy..

I don't mind her getting less presents etc but i feel she has done it deliberately to get one over me..

I think she is especially mad at me because my dp refused (for the first time ever to not try and convince her to spend xmas day with us all).

And they told me they will spend the evening with me as my dc are away and said that i wouldn't be spending xmas on my own as she had planned..

Thanks imperialblether for your replies it helps to try and work this out in my mind.

We agreed a limit within our family this year because we are all skinter than usual. We all stuck to it and it worked well. Might be worth trying that. She sounds a bit toxic though.

I wish we had agreed a limit too this year financialwizard but she just decided this on her own.

How did she "exclude you"? Did she say directly that you cant come? Or did she just not send an invite? My sister did this to me once, deliberately left me off an invite list - when my deceased fathers sister was visiting from the US but I just texted my sister her to say I would be round at 7....I wanted to see my aunt - and she was not going to prevent me or my children from meeting up with my aunt.

She just never invited me she said through my dm that they just wanted a meal with only themselves.

If it is only "themselves" - do you realy want to be there? If not just enjoy your day without the drama. I can only cope with my toxic sister in big gatherings where we dont have to interact, just a civil hello and goodbye - a meal with just me and her family would bring me out in hives....

Thanks Mulranno I need to do the same as you it hurts though somebody turning on you for doing perceived wrongs to them...

Thank god i won't have to see her for at least six months after the new year...

Hang on, are you still inviting her to your house for new year?

No no she is not being invited for new years eve I don't think I could even look at her tbh.