Why can't I love my children equally?

[MISSrepresented]

I have a DD and a DS. DD is the oldest by two years. When I just had DD I was overwhelmed by the love I felt for her but then DS came along....since then she has always taken second place to him. I love her to bits I really do but I know the love for her is not as strong as it is for DS and it hurts. DP has mentioned that I "favour" DS over her and I know myself that I tend to side with him. She was made to grow up early and I just feel so sad that I do not connect with her in the way that I do with DS.

I just don't think its normal but something which I cannot help, just wish I felt the overwhelming love for her that I do for my son but I just don't

. i love your posts custy

I can relate to this - I have 5 year old twin girls and one has always been so sweet and laid back, a real go-with-the-flow type of child, very very easy and happy. Her sister is the total opposite, she came out with a scowl on her face and it has barely left her. She challenges everything and life is one big drama for her. I love them both equally but definitely like the harder one less, which I hate to admit. I just don't get on with her as well as her sister, I just look at her and think "where did you come from" because she is so unlike me or DH. She is actually a carbon copy of my MIL with great highs of emotion or great lows, not much in between which I find hard.

i agree with the people who've said you need to sort this sooner rather than later. my dp's little sis is the fav in his family, she has 2 big brothers and although they were never unloved or mistreated she has always gotton more from the parents, and been allowed to get away with more. she's a horrible person now, spoilt, selfish and ignorant, all because she was allowed to get away with it. and i know it bothers dp that she has gotton things he and his brother never had and throws it al back in her parents faces.

i must say, that tho my mom favored my bros more, she did make an effort, and still does to do things with me and for me. i was the spoiled child, just for being the only girl. i was the one they constantly asked what to buy me even if i didn't want anything. (my bros used to make me say get this or that to my parents as they would without a second thought, but they would be blue in the face with begging and still wouldn't get it). i suppose my dp just felt they were making it up to me for not having any sisters. but i never acted spoiled or threw anything back in their faces. i suppose it all depends on the child. my mom did try her best tho to hid it, yet it was blatantly obvious who she favored.