I need some other perspectives on this, I am an introverted person and quite isolated, so I wondered if anyone could help me.
I met this guy when I was 17 or 18, ( nearly 30 years!)he was about 25 and had just finished a long relationship. We had a brief intense episode, he was on his way overseas. Then a long distance fantasy love affair, for 2 years, during which I was seeing people and growing up and he met and began another serious relationship. He came back over here to choose between me and her and decided on her, I don't blame him, but it hurt. He went back and I got over it.
Out of the blue about 8 years later he tracked me down and began again, I was the one for him, he had made a mistake, etc. he was moving back, (nearer, but not to here). I went for it again, a bit more hopeful this time. But after about a year of toing and froing, still not both living in the same country, he still wasn't sure. That was the end for me. Soon after I conceived ds on the big rebound.
We still remained in touch, he visited,I visited with DS,(2) we had a holiday together. Then he suddenly got married, had a child and divorced, all within a couple of years. We weren't in touch much during that time. Afterwards, as dust settled on divorce, he continued to visit us when in town, we had fun together. Well, a few years later one day he completely threw me by AGAIN declaring his undying love, thinking me, DS, him and his DS could be some kind of family and that I could move to be with him. I was in a relationship at this time, but my reason for rejecting him were because I had been messed around by him enough, not because i was committed elsewhere. I was quite clear this time, no Thankyou, we now have a great friendship.
He has never mentioned it again, we have both remained single. i am finally really comfortable in his company.long periods without contact. I last saw him in summer three years ago. Last spoke last christmas, he sent me music, This year, some more CDs and a lovely book. We never do gifts.
I wonder is he still carrying a torch? And not knowing makes me now wary of contact. I did once say to friends; maybe one day when both our kids were grown up.... , but its not a physical attraction. I don't know what it is. A very strong connection.